One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expentency is increasing. Do u think the advantages outweight the disadvantages?

On
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In
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recent years medical
care
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develope
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develop
developed
on
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in
show examples
Correct article usage
a signifcant
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signifcant
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significant
way because of
this
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improved
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improvement
show examples
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pepole
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people
are living longer and
life
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expentency is growing
up
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apply
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the
avrage
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average
. in my
opinion
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opinion,
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i
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I
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believe improved medical
care
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are
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is
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necesacary
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necessary
for
socity
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society
moreover
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,
i
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I
show examples
would firmly agree with
this
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statement
however
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this
Linking Words
essay will express the
poin
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point
pain
of
my
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apply
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view and reason that
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is relevent
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relevent
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relevant
to
this
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argue
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argument
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. The primary reason about
advantages
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advantage
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to
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of
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improved medical
care
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is saving
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pepole
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people
life
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by
improve
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improving
show examples
the method of treatment and tools that they
used
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use
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that will make
found
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finding
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the problem easily and
it
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apply
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could lead to
solve
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solving
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it
on
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at
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the right time before it
geting
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gets
getting
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an emergancy
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emergancy setuation
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emergency situation
.
In
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addition
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addition,
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point to add the more medical
care
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improved the more they can explore
disease
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diseases
show examples
Add the comma(s)
, for instance,
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for instance
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cancer
this
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desease
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disease
we call
it
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apply
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quit disease because it
is not reflect
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is not reflected
is not reflecting
show examples
on
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in
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person
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a person
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clearly you can not
found
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find
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out that you
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are attaced
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attaced
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attached
attacked
by
this
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diseas unlees
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disease unless
you check
up
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apply
show examples
with improved medical
care
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as
result
Add the preposition
result in
result from
show examples
medical
care
Use synonyms
must to improved year by year because it is
socity
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society
indeed
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, for example,
show examples
for example
Linking Words
my grandfather have poor medical
care
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so he found that he affected by cancer in the late time as result he died
beacause
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because
it is hard to his body to
accsipt
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accept
the medicine .
On the other hand
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, improved medical
care
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could be
disadvantage
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disadvantageous
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by
affect
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affecting
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economic growth and
make
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making
show examples
it hard to
government
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the government
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to
mange
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manage
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their
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its
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system
specially
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especially
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for old
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pepole
Correct your spelling
people
like grandparents
for example
Linking Words
on
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in
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United Arab Emiriets the provide "
thqa
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that
than
the
" card
it
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apply
show examples
helps
citizend
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citizens
th
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to
get free
health
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care
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with no fees but there
is
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are
show examples
consequences about
thi
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this
card it
not
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does not
did not
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involve old
Use synonyms
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
at the same
health
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care
Use synonyms
like young
Use synonyms
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
it cost old
Use synonyms
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
to pay
fot
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for
their treatment
moreover
Linking Words
not every old
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pepole
Correct your spelling
people
have money to get right
health
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care
Use synonyms
because they
dont
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don't
have
stable
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a stable
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salary so
thats
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that
could make their
health
Use synonyms
life
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to the edge .
On
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In
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conclusion ,
overeall
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overall
, if
health
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medical
care
Use synonyms
improved
Use synonyms
pepole
Correct your spelling
people
will have long healthy
life
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and prevent the complex disease
moreover
Linking Words
consequences of
develope
Correct your spelling
developed
medical
care
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is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
more likely to affect old
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pepole
Correct your spelling
people
like grandparents
wich
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which
show examples
it is lead their
health
Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
to the edge by less
care
Use synonyms
during
this
Linking Words
develpment .

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph presents a clear main idea and is well-developed with relevant details to support it. Improve the flow of ideas by using linking phrases and transitions between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Make sure to explain your points more fully, providing clear arguments and evidence for your claims. This will help demonstrate your understanding of the topic and strengthen your essay's overall impact.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion and central argument throughout your essay, which is a strong aspect of your writing.
task achievement
You attempt to discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of improved medical care, which shows a balanced approach.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • personal fulfillment
  • chronic diseases
  • economic growth
  • aging population
  • mentoring
  • community development
  • public resources
  • healthcare systems
  • pension systems
  • ageism
  • quality of life
  • vulnerable populations
  • healthcare advancements
  • longevity
  • experience and knowledge
  • socioeconomic impacts
  • elder care
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