IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There are some
people
Use synonyms
spend
Correct pronoun usage
who spend
show examples
 all their
life
Use synonyms
 to
work
Use synonyms
 for only
a
Change the article
an
show examples
organization
Use synonyms
. Others think
people
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 for
diversity
Replace the word
diverse
show examples
Use synonyms
organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
show examples
 is better. From my point of view, I totally support
this
Linking Words
 statement. On the one hand, I think some
people
Use synonyms
 want to have a stable
job
Use synonyms
 and they choose
Use synonyms
work
Fix the infinitive
to work
show examples
 in
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
organization
Use synonyms
 for all their
life
Use synonyms
. The reason is they are used to the
job
Use synonyms
 for a long
time
Use synonyms
, they worked with their colleague and
working
Correct article usage
the working
show examples
 environment. They do not want
do
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
 change and
shy
Add a missing verb
are shy
show examples
 with new things. They feel their
job
Use synonyms
still
Add a missing verb
is still
show examples
 good and they do not want to
lost
Change the verb
lose
show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
their
job
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who are working for
Correct article usage
a goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
organization
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,
most
Correct your spelling
must
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
worked for a long
time
Use synonyms
 and they do
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 important
job
Use synonyms
 and they can not change to
new
Add an article
a new
the new
show examples
job
Use synonyms
. Some
people
Use synonyms
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
do not have
certificate
Add an article
a certificate
the certificate
show examples
 and they
had
Add the particle
had to
show examples
 find
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 suitable for them and they can do only that
job
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.
However
Linking Words
, I think if they want to more development they should not do the same
job
Use synonyms
 for all
life
Use synonyms
 or they can do for two
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same
time
Use synonyms
. They should have
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
flexibility in their
job
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, they need to know what
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
job
Use synonyms
suitable
Add a missing verb
is suitable
show examples
 for them and
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
 more
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 to them, choose the
organization
Use synonyms
 to
working
Change the verb form
work
show examples
 for
also
Linking Words
 show their ability.
This
Linking Words
 is because some company may be good with some
people
Use synonyms
 but it can be not suitable for someone else.
For example
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
work
Correct pronoun usage
who work
show examples
 for
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 can receive
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 low salary and some of them choose to find
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
organizetion
Correct your spelling
organisation
 with
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
 salary and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good support for staff.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
choose
Wrong verb form
choosing
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 good company will make you more
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
. You should not spend all your
life
Use synonyms
to
Change the verb form
working
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 in one
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when you do
Correct article usage
a difference
show examples
difference
Replace the word
different
show examples
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 you can have more experience and you can
get
Verb problem
be
show examples
 successful more
easy
Change the word
easily
show examples
. It
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
 to you
will have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 more
oppotunity
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 to develop and your quality
Use synonyms
life
Change preposition
of life
show examples
 will
better
Add a missing verb
be better
show examples
. We have Shark Hung in the Shark Tank programme on the
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
, when he was young, he studied in three
university
Change to a plural noun
universities
show examples
 at the same
time
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 he successful as now. In conclusion, I think we should
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 for different organizations because it can
make
Verb problem
give
show examples
we
Correct pronoun usage
us
show examples
 more knowledge
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
Use synonyms
job
Add an article
the job
show examples
 market. From that, we can
more
Add a missing verb
be more
show examples
 successful and better.

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coherence and cohesion
Work on the clarity of your ideas by providing more structured arguments in each paragraph. Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main point with supporting details.
task achievement
Try to improve the variety and accuracy of your vocabulary and grammar. This will help to express your ideas more clearly and effectively.
task achievement
When citing examples, ensure they are clearly explained and relevant to the argument being made. This will strengthen your points and enhance overall clarity.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument, showing an understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your use of examples adds a personal touch and helps illustrate your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • stability
  • loyalty
  • seniority
  • job satisfaction
  • rapidly changing job market
  • adapt to
  • work culture
  • career progression
  • network
  • diversity of experience
  • adaptability
  • career aspirations
  • dynamic nature
What to do next:
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