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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The pie charts on the left illustrate the proportion of three electricity-generating sources in the German and French markets in 2009 while the charts on the right further detail the composition of the segment of renewable energy in that same year.

The pie charts on the left illustrate the proportion of three electricity-generating sources in the German and French markets in 2009 while the charts on the right further detail the composition of the segment of renewable energy in that same year.
The pie charts illustrate the percentage of three electricity-producing
sources
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 and the content of the segment of reusable
energy
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 in
Germany
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 and
France
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 in 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is observed that hydroelectricity had the highest
proportion
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 of
energy
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sources
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 in
France
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while
Linking Words
 its
proportion
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 in
Germany
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 was the least.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, conventional thermal
energy
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 was used in
Germany
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 compared to
France
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 had a lower percentage.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, nuclear
energy
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 had a higher
proportion
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 of utilization in
France
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in contrast
Linking Words
 to
Germany
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 with a smaller percentage. In
Germany
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, the
proportion
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 of conventional thermal, renewable, and nuclear
energy
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sources
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 was 59.6%,17.4% and 23.0% in the same order,
whereas
Linking Words
, in
France
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, nuclear
energy
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 was the most consumed source of
energy
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 used with 76.0%, conventional thermal and renewable
energy
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sources
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 were the least utilized with proportions of a little over 10%.
In addition
Linking Words
, the composition of renewable
energy
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 consists of Biomass,hydroelectric, solar, geothermal and wind
sources
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 with percentages 39.3%, 17.7%, 6.1%%, 0.0%, 36.9% and 8.1%, 80.5%, 0.9%, 0.0%,10.5% in
Germany
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 and
France
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 respectively.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sources, energy, germany, france, proportion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrate" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 5 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • electricity-generating sources
  • markets
  • renewable energy
  • composition
  • nuclear energy
  • fossil fuels
  • generate electricity
  • comprise
  • contrast
  • double
  • compare
  • utilize
  • segment
  • dependency
  • significant differences
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