IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays,
science
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 plays a crucial role in our societies. Many believe enhancing
humans’
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human’
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 life quality should be the main goal of it. I vehemently agree
due to
Linking Words
 the amount of energy we spend on discovering new
science
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 and the impressive
power
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 of it
in
Correct your spelling
is
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 affecting our
lives
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. One of the most important reasons why the main goal of
science
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 must be to improve our
lives
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 is the possibility of
science
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to be
Change the verb form
being
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 misused. Many scientists are working in various sectors with the goal of understanding or making something new for humanity. If their main goal would not be to make humans’
lives
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 better, it is possible that their efforts end in
somethings
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something
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 harmful.
For example
Linking Words
, it is highly likely that governmental investments in scientific
researches
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research
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 find their way to make missiles and bombs which can kill humans rather than
saving
Wrong verb form
save
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him
Correct pronoun usage
them
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.
Thus
Linking Words
, the best way to prevent most of
such
Linking Words
 bad actions is by directing scientists to put their efforts
to make
Change preposition
into making
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 people’s
lives
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 better and never think of anything except for that. Another reason is the amount of
power
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 that
science
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 has to affect people’s
lives
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. Without a doubt, the new technologies that come from scientific
researches
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research
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 have so much
power
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 to improve our quality of life that nothing else is capable of. In the past, people in order to survive tried various methods, and mostly learned from other creatures including animals, but nothing helped their survival and progress more than discoveries based on
science
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. With its help, man learned to make tools and
accommodation
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accommodations
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 and started a civilized world. So, they have the potential to make groundbreaking discoveries and invent life-changing discoveries.
Thus
Linking Words
, we should
priorities
Replace the word
prioritise
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 the main goal of it to improve people’s
lives
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. In conclusion, it is considered that the main goal of
science
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 should be to enhance
humans’
Fix the agreement mistake
human’
show examples
lives
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. Since the amount of valuable time that we spend on learning
science
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 and its wonderful
power
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 to affect our
lives
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 significantly are undeniable, I believe the main aim of
science
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 should be benefiting our
lives
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.

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task achievement
Consider providing a more balanced discussion by acknowledging potential counterarguments to your main points.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure your ideas flow logically from one section to another and use linking words to enhance the coherence of your paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Clarify some phrases and use more varied vocabulary to strengthen your arguments, such as avoiding repetition of similar ideas.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position and sets up the discussion well.
task achievement
You present strong arguments regarding the potential misuse of science and its power to improve lives, which are relevant and insightful.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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