IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that we should replace old buildings and houses in cit-ies with more modern buildings. Other people think we should protect old buildings. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In many modern
cities
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, a debate has emerged over whether old
buildings
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 should be replaced with new
structures
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 or preserved as part of cultural heritage.
While
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 some argue that modernization boosts economic development and improves the visual appeal of
cities
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, others believe that preserving historical
buildings
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 is essential for maintaining a connection to the past and supporting sustainable tourism.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting a personal opinion. On the one hand, replacing old
buildings
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 with modern ones offers clear economic and aesthetic advantages. From an economic standpoint, the construction of modern
buildings
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 stimulates growth by creating jobs and attracting investors.
For example
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, in Dubai, the rapid development of high-rise
buildings
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 and luxury apartments has not only transformed the skyline but
also
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 encouraged global businesses to establish a presence in the
city
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.
Additionally
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, new architecture can enhance the appearance of urban areas. Sleek and uniform designs, as seen in parts of Seoul, create a futuristic look that appeals to younger generations and boosts a
city
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's image on the global stage.
On the other hand
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, preserving old
buildings
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 is crucial for protecting cultural heritage and supporting tourism. Historic
structures
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 serve as physical reminders of a
city
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's history, identity, and craftsmanship.
For instance
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, the old
city
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 of Fez in Morocco retains its traditional
buildings
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, offering a window into its rich cultural past.
Moreover
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, these preserved sites often become major tourist attractions.
Cities
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 like Rome rely heavily on their ancient landmarks,
such
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 as the Colosseum, which draw millions of tourists annually and contribute significantly to the local economy. Renovating rather than demolishing
such
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structures
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 is
also
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 more environmentally friendly, reducing construction waste and preserving resources. In my opinion,
while
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 modern
buildings
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 are necessary for growing
cities
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, it is equally important to protect historically significant
structures
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. A balanced approach should be adopted: preserving
buildings
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 with cultural or architectural value
while
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 replacing those that are structurally unsafe or no longer serve practical purposes. Conclusion:
To conclude
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, modern
buildings
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 contribute to economic growth and improve
city
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 aesthetics, yet old
structures
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 carry historical significance and attract tourism. A thoughtful combination of modernization and preservation can help
cities
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 evolve
while
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 still
honoring
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honouring
show examples
 their past.

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coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a well-defined structure with clear paragraphs that logically flow from one idea to the next. The introduction includes your thesis statement, which sets a clear direction for the essay. However, consider elaborating a bit more on your personal opinion in the conclusion to reinforce your stance.
task achievement
You have effectively discussed both views and backed them up with relevant examples. To strengthen your argument even further, you might want to add more specific examples or statistics for the economic advantages of preservation to balance your points.
task achievement
Your writing presents a clear and balanced view of both sides of the argument, which is commendable. The use of relevant examples adds depth to your analysis and demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-organized with clear transitions between paragraphs, making it easy to follow your argument. Each paragraph focuses on a specific point, contributing to the overall clarity of the piece.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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