IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Some people think that older and more experienced employees are useful for a company. Others feel that modern younger employees are better for an organisation. do you agree or disagree?

Older
Add an article
The older
An older
show examples
 employee has
many experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
more experience
show examples
 than younger
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
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 but it does not
means
Change the verb form
mean
show examples
 that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young employees are
worst
Correct article usage
the worst
show examples
. I do not agree with that statement because the quality of the work will not based on the age of the worker. There are some reasons that younger
also
Linking Words
 have the same
quality
Fix the agreement mistake
qualities
show examples
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
older
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
.
First,
Linking Words
younger
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
 are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fresh
graduate
Fix the agreement mistake
graduates
show examples
, they have new knowledge
due to
Linking Words
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
graduate
Replace the word
graduation
show examples
 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university. Even
Correct word choice
if their
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 still
a
Add a missing verb
have a
show examples
little experience
however
Linking Words
 they can implement it
easly
Correct your spelling
easily
.
Second,
Linking Words
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 is the fastest learner, they can learn as fast as lightning when their supervisor
teach
Change the verb form
teaches
show examples
 them
ebout
Correct your spelling
about
 the organisation. The work supervisor should
considered
Change the verb form
consider
show examples
 the reasons because it can affect office performance.

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents your position on the topic and provides a brief overview of the points you will discuss. This will help set the stage for your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Try to organize your paragraphs more clearly. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea, and transitions between ideas can help guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Expand on your points with specific examples to support your claims. This will strengthen your argument and demonstrate your understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to grammar and word choice to enhance clarity. For instance, instead of "young is the fastest learner," you could say, "younger employees tend to learn quickly."
task achievement
You have made a clear argument that young employees are valuable based on their fresh knowledge and ability to learn quickly.
task achievement
Your use of comparison between older and younger employees shows awareness of multiple perspectives on the issue.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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