IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph and pie chart below show information on crime in the UK for the last year(EX)

The line graph and pie chart below show information on crime in the UK for the last year(EX)
The line graph compares British people of different ages in terms of how many
crimes
Use synonyms
 they committed,
whereas
Linking Words
 the pie chart illustrates the proportion of some types of
crimes
Use synonyms
 for
last
Linking Words
 year. The units are measured in thousands and percentages.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the young from 16 to 24 old had the highest crime rates
while
Linking Words
 most of the
crimes
Use synonyms
 were committed by violence. Moving to a more detailed analysis, 20 years
old
Correct your spelling
20-year-old
 age group had the highest share at 80,000, followed by
16
Correct article usage
the 16
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 and 24 age groups, at 70,000 and 60,000 respectively. The indicators of people over 28 were less than 20,000. Children until 8 years old did not have crime. With regard to the pie chart, the largest amount of
crimes
Use synonyms
, 46%, were violent ones. Drug and property
crimes
Use synonyms
 accounted for nearly the same share, comprising 22% and 23% respectively. The remaining 9% contributed to the public order
crimes
Use synonyms

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words crimes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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