IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult such as the Sahara or the Atlantic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places

In recent years, The topic of visiting new
places
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 has become increasingly
relevent
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relevant
 and widely discussed .
While
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 there are numerous
advantages
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 associated with
this
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 trend. It is
also
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 important to consider the potential drawbacks.
This
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 essay will discuss both
advantages
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 and disadvantages and conclude with
reasoned
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a reasoned
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 opinion. The most significant advantage of visiting and exploring new cities is that it opens up many opportunities for people across various aspects of their lives,
such
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 as
,
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apply
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leaning
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learning
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 new language, exploring new cultures and expanding their social circle by
meet
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meeting
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 many people from other nationalities, which benefits individuals or society as a whole.
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This
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These
show examples
advantages
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 make visiting to New
places
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 an appealing option in many contact.
On the other hand
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, there are several drawbacks to consider.
Firstly
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, trying new
places
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 can be
bored
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a boring
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 and unexpected experience which has
Correct article usage
a negatively
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negatively
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negative
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 impact on the passengers and their holiday.
Secondly
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, some tourist attractions are hard to reach and public transportation may not be available or comfortable. All
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this
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these
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 downsides highlight the importance of raising awareness about visiting new
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area
era
erea
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areas
 In conclusion,
although
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 the topic
ot
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of
 visiting new
places
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 offers a lot
ot
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of
advantages
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, like , having a great and lovely time with
friend
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friends
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 and spending
unforgettable
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an unforgettable
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 holiday . It is
also
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 without
it's
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its
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 disadvantages,
such
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 as wasting money
on
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in
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unknown
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the unknown
an unknown
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 direction. Personally , I believe that the
advantage
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advantages
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 outweigh the disadvantages . Provided
they
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the
show examples
 proper measures are taken to minimize the negative effects.

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task achievement
Consider improving clarity and depth in your arguments by providing specific examples to support your points, especially regarding the advantages and disadvantages you mentioned.
coherence
Work on the grammatical accuracy and fluency of your writing, as there are several language inaccuracies that may distract the reader (e.g., "relevent", "leaning", "bored and unexpected experience").
task achievement
You identified both advantages and disadvantages, clearly presenting your opinion in the conclusion, which is a positive aspect of your response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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