IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people fails in school, but ends up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is important things to succeed in life?

It is undeniable that many
Use synonyms
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 tend to
underperformed
Wrong verb form
underperform
show examples
 academically at
school
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.
This
Linking Words
 could possibly happen because sometimes what
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school
Correct article usage
the school
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 teaches isn't really applicable in real practice.
Moreover
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,
i
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I
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 firmly believe that many other factors contribute to
success
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,
such
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 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
self
Add a hyphen
self-motivation
show examples
motivation
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 and professional networking. In many cases, academic achievement is not directly linked to a person's
success
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 in life. One of the key reasons is that the
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
 taught
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
school
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 might be different. It would not be as practical as it should be in the real world.
For instance
Linking Words
, the data used as an exercise in the statistics project is processed data rather than real data
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
usually more complex.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
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 often find their passion later on, after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
formal education. Passion can be found anytime, and one real example is a musician in Indonesia, Ari Lesmana, who graduated from Law but went on to pursue a successful career as a singer.
While
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 academic achievement doesn't determine someone's
success
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,
motivation
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 and
high quality
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high-quality
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 networks clearly
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
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. Successful
people
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 have a strong
motivation
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 to always keep them up
everytime
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every time
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. Strong
motivation
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 creates a sense of creativity which can foster
success
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 in business and innovation.
Additionally
Linking Words
, building connections can play a pivotal role in
success
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.
Individual
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An individual
The individual
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 who
build
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builds
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 strong networks may broaden their way in order to find opportunities outside
school
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.
To conclude
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, for some
people
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, academic failure is not related to their
success
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 because the practice is totally different.
Instead
Linking Words
, strong
motivation
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 and professional connections are more significant.

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task achievement
Try to ensure that all points made in the essay directly support your main argument. Sometimes the examples could be more relevant to the points being made.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to practice connecting sentences and paragraphs smoothly. Consider using a wider range of linking words to improve the flow of your ideas.
task achievement
Be cautious of grammatical errors, especially with subject-verb agreement and the use of articles. Proofreading your work can help catch these small mistakes.
positive
You presented a clear viewpoint on the topic and explored multiple reasons why academic performance does not always correlate with success.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic failure
  • learning styles
  • emotional intelligence
  • resilience
  • adaptability
  • entrepreneurial spirit
  • creativity
  • problem-solving
  • networking
  • interpersonal skills
  • opportunities
  • success stories
  • self-awareness
  • innovation
  • career development
What to do next:
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