IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Aerospace Engineering is an emerging field.Authorities are spending money to explore it.But I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 idea as it is a
wastage
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waste
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 of resources.
Their
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There
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 are other areas that
needs
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need
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 to be focused more and should be prioritized for the development of
nation
Add an article
the nation
a nation
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.
This
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 essay elucidates those factors briefly . To commence with, officials should contribute income
on
Change preposition
to
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 healthcare.
Their
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There
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 are various
health- related
Correct your spelling
health-related
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 complexities and diseases that are curable .That's why the government should allocate a sum of money for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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health programs.As an example,Tuberculosis is a preventable disease but citizens are still
loosing
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losing
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 their lives with it
due to
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 lack of treatment.
Moreover
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,If pharmaceuticals are provided at cheaper prices,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 will be accessible to everyone
and
Correct word choice
apply
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resulting in
less
Fix the agreement mistake
lower
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morality
Correct your spelling
mortality
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 rates.
Furthermore
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,another highlighting sector that needs immediate attention is
education
Use synonyms
.
Inspite
Correct your spelling
In spite
 of living in
21st
Change the article
the 21st
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 century,
their
Replace the word
there
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 are still many parts of
world
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the world
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 that are deprived of even basic schooling .Because
education
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 has become a more of business ,private sectors are making it expensive and that leads to
burden
Correct article usage
a burden
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 on parents .
Additionally
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, making their children deprived of
education
Use synonyms
.To illustrate,Executives should start more public schools that can deliver free teaching to students. Based on
above
Add an article
the above
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 discussion,it is
lucid
Correct word choice
clear
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 that administrators
needs
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need
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 to spend their money wisely.They need to categorize their sectors
according to
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netizens
Change noun form
netizens'
netizen's
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need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
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.For
now
Add a comma
now,
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 medical care and
education
Use synonyms
 are on top of the list . Improving and focusing on these will enhance the productivity and efficiency of
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 .

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language
Ensure you check for spelling errors, such as 'their' instead of 'there', and improve the overall language accuracy.
content
Expand on your examples to provide a deeper analysis of your points. For instance, explain why healthcare investments lead to a healthier population.
cohesion
Improve the flow between paragraphs and ideas by using linking words and phrases to enhance coherence.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic and presents a clear opinion against spending on space exploration, which is crucial for task achievement.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • complete waste
  • benefit the nation
  • technological advancements
  • foster
  • international cooperation
  • inspire
  • engage
  • boost the economy
  • long-term benefits
What to do next:
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