IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The money spent by governments on space programs would be better spent on vital public services such as schools and hospitals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Governments spend a lot of
money
Use synonyms
 on
space
Use synonyms
programs
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. In my opinion, I believe
such
Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
 would be better spent on important public
services
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. There are several reasons why
space
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Use synonyms
programs
Change the noun form
program
show examples
 funding should be stopped.
Firstly
Linking Words
, these
programs
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 are highly expensive as
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
involves
Correct subject-verb agreement
involve
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 training scientists, advanced equipment, and research.
Secondly
Linking Words
, even though
space
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 missions are expensive, it does not bring any real value to
normals
Change the noun form
normal
show examples
 people, and there is no financial gain out of it, making it a real waste of resources.
Lastly
Linking Words
, these
programs
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puts
Change the verb form
put
show examples
astronauts
Change noun form
astronauts'
astronaut's
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 lives at risk
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
can create disasters without any real meaning or purpose behind
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. I believe
money
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 from
space
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programs
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 should be spent on public
services
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. Investing in doctors, teachers, police and other public
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services
Fix the agreement mistake
service
show examples
 workers can create a huge impact on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. These
services
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 are worthy of
such
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 funding, where it can elevate the
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 of people and
ca
Correct your spelling
can
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 be noticeable
by
Change preposition
to
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 every member of the community.
In addition
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, public
services
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has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 higher priority.
For instance
Linking Words
, training a doctor
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 can save people’s
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 is more important than an astronaut who would go explore a new planet.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is much cheaper and more precious to supply public
Use synonyms
services
Fix the agreement mistake
service
show examples
 initiatives rather than
space
Use synonyms
programs
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. In conclusion, my point of view is that governments should spend
money
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 public
services
Use synonyms
 that
impacts
Change the verb form
impact
show examples
 each and every member of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society rather
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 wasting resources on meaningless projects.

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task achievement
Consider rephrasing the introduction to present a clearer thesis statement that reflects the overall argument more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence to guide the reader and improve coherence in your argumentation.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or data to support your claims about the merits of investing in public services over space programs.
coherence and cohesion
Revise grammatical errors and sentence structure for clarity and to enhance the overall fluency of your writing.
task achievement
Your opinion on the prioritization of public services is clear and well-stated.
task achievement
You presented multiple reasons for your viewpoint, which demonstrates an understanding of the complexity of the issue.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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