IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefis of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In
this
Linking Words
 day and age, the topic of study at
college
Use synonyms
 has undeniably become a critical issue for the general public. Some individuals argue that there is no reason for students to attend to
university
Use synonyms
 except
receiving
Wrong verb form
receive
show examples
 well-paid jobs. Others maintain that
college
Use synonyms
 offers a variety of profits for both residents and
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will provide thorough demonstrations of these
constrating
Correct your spelling
contrasting
 points of view. On the one hand, it is essential to recognize that individuals ought to acknowledge the significant
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
 education. There is no doubt that
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
 at
college
Use synonyms
afford
Change the verb form
affords
show examples
 pupils several intensive
knowledges
Fix the agreement mistake
knowledge
show examples
 which can elevate the opportunity of finding a good occupation.
In addition
Linking Words
, after graduating from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
college
Use synonyms
, citizens are
equiped
Correct your spelling
equipped
required
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 an enormous amount of comprehension and take for themselves a certificate.
As a result
Linking Words
, it is noteworthy that between an individual who
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 not have any professional understanding and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one
does
Correct pronoun usage
who does
show examples
, the latter will have a higher chance
to be
Change preposition
of being
show examples
 accepted to work.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
besides
Linking Words
 the purpose of supplying
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
,
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
of
Change preposition
at
show examples
university
Use synonyms
 plays an integral part in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. To
illustrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrate
show examples
, not only lectures and students
have works
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 in the
university
Use synonyms
, but security guards, cleaning
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
,
or
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 healthcare
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
are
Change the verb form
also have
show examples
also
Linking Words
 have functions in that environment.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, pupils can enhance many important skills which can improve their personal and professional
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
, namely interpersonal
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
, resilience,
or
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 discipline. To summarize,
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
 of
college
Use synonyms
offer
Change the verb form
offers
show examples
 several benefits for both inhabitants and social public, especially
widen
Wrong verb form
widening
show examples
 knowledge for students.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the essence is generating a sympathetic environment where graduates have abilities to make use of their skills and understanding for dedication to the community.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

language
Ensure spelling errors are corrected to enhance clarity, e.g., 'benefits' instead of 'benefis', 'equipped' instead of 'equiped', etc. Consider using synonyms to avoid repetition of words. For instance, use 'graduates' instead of 'citizens' in this context.
content
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. For example, mention specific skills gained at university that apply to professional environments.
cohesion
Work on the overall logical flow of your paragraphs. Use linking words like 'however' or 'moreover' to strengthen the connections between paragraphs and points.
content
The essay presents clear arguments supporting both views of the topic, which demonstrates understanding of the task.
structure
The writing includes a coherent introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: