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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The table below shows information about age, average income per person and population below poverty line in three states in the USA. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows information about age, average income per person and population below poverty line in three states in the USA. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The table demonstrates the salary of each individual and people who are under the poverty line in three regions in the USA.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 Utah has the highest number of young adults compared to the other countries, the other sections are the lowest compared to other mentioned countries. Regarding the youth where Utal is dominant in 3 countries, Floria and
California
Use synonyms
 comprising 16% and 17% respectively. In terms of the elders,
while
Linking Words
 Utal is the lowest at 8%, Florida accounts for 23%,
this
Linking Words
 was higher than
California
Use synonyms
 which made up 13%. As regards salary for each inhabitant where
California
Use synonyms
 account for 23000 dollars,
while
Linking Words
 Florida makes up 22000 dollars, and Utal comprises 17 dollars. With regard to the citizens who are under the poverty line,
California
Use synonyms
 is dominant consisting of 16% of the population,
this
Linking Words
 is higher than Florida which constitutes 12% of the citizens and nearly doubles the number of city dwellers in Utal which accounts for 9%

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words california with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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