It is importante for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

In recent years, there has been an ongoing debate
whether
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about whether
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punishment
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is necessary
in
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for
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disciplining
children
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in schools and at
homes
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home
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.
While
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some argue that
punishment
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should be allowed , I partially agree with
this
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idea and believe, that some forms of
punishment
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that are fair and non-violent may be necessary to teach
children
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moral values. First of all,
punishment
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, when used
corectlly
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correctly
can help
children
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to understand that their actions have consequences and guide them to behave properly. Young
children
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still learn how to act and sometimes they misbehave, so it is significantly important to set up
the
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apply
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strong
bondaries
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boundaries
, which will help them to learn what
behavior
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behaviour
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is acceptable in society.
For example
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, if one child hits another child and he doesn't receive an appropriate
punishment
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it may never learn to differentiate between good and wrong.
However
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,
while
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discipline is important, the punishments that are used have to
bee
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be
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fair,
age -related
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age-related
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and
non violent
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non-violent
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, in order to be safe and effective. Physical punishments
such
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as hitting or shouting can
negativily
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negatively
influence
children
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's mental
healt
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health
and
overall
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well-being.
For example
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, if
children
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dont
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don't
complete their homework a
techer
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teacher
can reduce their
privelliges
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privileges
and ask them to finish during
the
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apply
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recess. In
this
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way, without using
the
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apply
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physical punishments, they can be
taugt
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taught
what actions are appropriate
way
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ways
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of behavior. In conclusion,
while
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discipline plays a crucial factor in individuals' development,
punishment
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can be allowed in some particular situations, when all other teaching methods
did
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do
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not help to teach
children
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right from wrong.

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grammar
Make sure to proofread your work for spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'importante' instead of 'important', and 'corectlly' instead of 'correctly'. Also, avoid unnecessary comma placements like in 'believe, that some forms...'.
task response
Ensure that every point you make is directly linked to your argument. You mentioned punishment is necessary but did not thoroughly discuss the types of punishment that are appropriate, which could enhance your overall task response.
task response
Consider providing more specific examples of non-violent punishments to strengthen your arguments. The example of reducing privileges is good, but more variety in examples can enrich your essay.
positive point
The essay presents a clear stance that punishment can be necessary if it is fair, non-violent, and appropriately applied, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.
positive point
You have structured your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids in the overall coherence of your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • moral development
  • consequences
  • ethical concepts
  • positive reinforcement
  • non-violent punishment
  • time-outs
  • loss of privileges
  • proportional punishment
  • motivation
  • balanced approach
  • negative effects
  • foster
  • positive learning environment
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