IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below gives information about the journey to school by children aged 11 to 16 in the UK in a year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about the journey to school by children aged 11 to 16 in the UK in a year. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart illustrates
the a
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the
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mannual
Correct your spelling
manual
annual
 percentages of
students
Use synonyms
 from 11 to 16 years
according to
Linking Words
 what the means they use to go to
Use synonyms
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
 and how
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
show examples
miles
Use synonyms
 they have to pass to reach
schools
Use synonyms
 in the UK. It is noticeable that the majority of children's residences are near to their
schools
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the main used means
arew
Correct your spelling
are
 walk and
bicycle
Wrong verb form
bicycling
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therefore
Linking Words
, a large
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
students
Use synonyms
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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rely on them.
According to
Linking Words
 walk and bicycle, about 80% of
students
Use synonyms
 were
depening
Correct your spelling
depending
 on their foot from those
who their
Correct pronoun usage
whose
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houses
Use synonyms
 are far only 0-1
miles
Use synonyms
 from their
schools
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 only 25% were coming by their foot from 2-5
miles
Use synonyms
.
Whereas
Linking Words
 bicycles were used
increasely
Correct your spelling
increasingly
 by
students
Use synonyms
 who need to pass 1-2
miles
Use synonyms
 to
rech
Correct your spelling
reach
 their
schools
Use synonyms
 and there are approximately equal percentages of those who their
houses
Use synonyms
 0-1 or 2-5
miles
Use synonyms
 far from their
schools
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, we can see that there are no
students
Use synonyms
Correct pronoun usage
who used
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used
Wrong verb form
use
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 these means of those who live
by
Change preposition
apply
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over 5
miles
Use synonyms
 far from their
schools
Use synonyms
. For
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
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 and
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
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, children who live far from
schools
Use synonyms
 by 2-5 or more
miles
Use synonyms
 were 30%
while
Linking Words
 a small amount of 0-1
miles
Use synonyms
houses
Use synonyms
 were using
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
.
Also
Linking Words
, buses were used by about 70% of those who live in
houses
Use synonyms
 where far from their
schools
Use synonyms
 by over 5
miles
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, schools, miles, houses with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Modes of transportation
  • Percentage
  • Comparative analysis
  • Seasonal variations
  • External factors
  • Environmental impact
  • Carbon emissions
  • Non-motorized modes
  • Safety
  • Convenience
  • Sustainable
  • Initiatives
  • Promoting
  • Improvements
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