IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The number of tv program is growing day by day.some people say that it is good as it gives more choices ,while other say it affects the quality of tv programs.discuss both and give your opinion

There is no doubt that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 these days, the amount of
TV
Use synonyms
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
 is increasing decade after decade. It is commonly believed that it is
advantage
Add an article
an advantage
show examples
 as it provides more options. At the same time, several people hold the opposite view that it impacts the quality of
TV
Use synonyms
 channels and
eposides
Correct your spelling
episodes
.
This
Linking Words
 essay completely agrees with the first opinion. In
this
Linking Words
 argument, we will discuss both perspectives. On the one hand, it is considered that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
TV
Use synonyms
 shows are the primary habit in free
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
, whether for children, teenagers and adults.
As a result
Linking Words
, it is essential to
gives
Change the verb
give
show examples
 them variety
choices
Change preposition
of choices
show examples
 and
balancing
Wrong verb form
balance
show examples
 their interests.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, numerous channels are working to make interesting programs and improving their style of shows with
a special sources
Correct the article-noun agreement
a special source
special sources
show examples
 of
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
information which
attracting
Wrong verb form
attract
show examples
 the audiences.
For example
Linking Words
, the BBC channel in 2021 reached around 32.5 million views in their
TV
Use synonyms
 shows.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is argued that by some the over numbers of these epoaides can
be
Verb problem
have
show examples
 a negative effect on different factors,
such
Linking Words
 as the quality of programs shown
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
TV
Use synonyms
 because the launcher will focus on the number of shows
instead
Linking Words
 of its quality.
Consequently
Linking Words
, that will affect
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 preferences.
In addition
Linking Words
, it is better for kids to watch
TV
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
 of smartphones because it is safer for them and more beneficial.
For instance
Linking Words
, a recent study conducted
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 Harvard University in the United Kingdom in 2023 found that around 20% of
TV
Use synonyms
 programs have benefits for children and teenagers
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
highlighting the importance of these shows
To sum up
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 modern growth of the
TV
Use synonyms
 world is necessary for societies.
However
Linking Words
, it is important to create the best
eposides
Correct your spelling
episodes
 to avoid potential risks.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

language enhancement
Try to use more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance your writing style.
coherence improvement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and follows a logical progression to improve coherence.
task response improvement
Incorporate more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and provide clearer support for your points.
positive structure
You have clearly expressed your opinion and provided an introduction that outlines the topic well.
positive example usage
Your use of examples, such as the BBC channel, adds some credibility to your points.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: