IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Stress is now a major problem in many countries around the world. What are some of the reasons that cause stress, and what are its effects? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Stress
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 is an acute problem in many regions around the world. The primary cause of
this
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 problem includes increasing
noise
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 pollution and the
pressure
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 in the workplace. Regular
stress
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 might lead to reducing the performance of employees in their
work
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 and in certain
cases
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cases,
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 it can result in serious health complications like
chronis
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chronic
diseases
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 and heart
diseases
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. One of the most common stressors today is the
work
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 environment. Workers face a lot of issues in their
work
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 regardless of their occupation;
however
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, the high expectations of their employers and supervisors put extra
pressure
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 on them.
For example
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, many
assocites
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associates
 tend to
saty
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stay
 extra hours at
work
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 and take the remaining to their home because they seek promotions and validation. Another reason
of
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for
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stress
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 is
noise
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 pollution. Places
such
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 as factories and airports tend to make a lot of loud
noise
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.
Moreover
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, traffic jams are
also
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 a significant
cotributor
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contributor
 to
this
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 issue. All of these
noise
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 pollutants increase the levels of
stress
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 to abnormal
level
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levels
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.
This
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 phenomenon might result in reducing the quality of workers' performance, as the growing
stress
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 can lead to burnout and diminish the productivity of individuals.
For example
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, many workers have left their jobs
due to
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 the stressful atmosphere and the exhausting routine. Sometimes if the
pressure
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 and
stress
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 are severe, they increase the possibility of chronic
diseases
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 like cardiovascular conditions or even heart
diseases
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. Having to deal with
stress
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 on a
dily
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daily
 basis leads to an increase in blood
pressure
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, which might cause a
pemenant
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permanent
 rise.
For instance
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, many retired people announced that the consist
stress
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 which they used to face every day contributed to their chronic
diseases
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.
To sum up
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,
stress
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 has become common in our society
due to
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 the high
pressure
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 of
work
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 environments and the hustle and bustle of cities.
Consequently
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,
this
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 situation might lead to negative impacts on
work
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 since it reduces the quality of people's
job
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jobs
show examples
, and in some serious situations, it can be a root cause of some chronic
diseases
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.

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task achievement
Develop your points further to provide a more comprehensive answer. For example, explore additional causes of stress or more varied effects.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Use more linking words or phrases for better coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that indicates the main idea of that section.
task achievement
You have identified key reasons for stress and some effects effectively, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay follows a basic essay structure with an introduction, main body, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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