Some believe it is important for cities and towns to invest heavily in building large outdoor public spaces.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is no denying the fact that it is
esetial
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essential
to have huge outdoor
spaces
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for the citizens.
While
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it is a commonly held belief that
invest
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investing
show examples
in building
out of house
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out-of-house
show examples
spaces
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is important, there is
also
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an argument that
oppeses
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opposes
it. In my opinion, I consider that it is
ture
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true
that we need to put more money
in
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into
show examples
public
spaces
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except for some things I will mention later on.
To begin
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with, we need these places to recreate a new lifestyle.
In other words
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, adding more places for common people will give them a chance to try some new
activeties
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activities
.
In addition
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, phones today
takes
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take
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most
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up most
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of our time which
lead
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leads
show examples
to big problems.
For example
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, not
haveing
Correct your spelling
having
show examples
time to run or
workout
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work out
show examples
. Another point to consider, building these parks or any other
ppublic
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public
spaces
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will come with a massive cost. It is
also
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possible to say that it might take a great
efforts
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effort
show examples
to make the citizens want to go into these
palces
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places
.
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Moreover
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Moreover,
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there are many other
progects
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projects
products
to put in mind other than making public
spaces
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.
For
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instance
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instance,
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builiding
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building
a lovely indoor
evierment
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element
for anyone who
want
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wants
show examples
to have fun and chat with other
persons
Replace the word
people
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. In conclusion,
despit
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despite
people having different views, I believe that every town or
citie shold
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city should
have both outdoor and indoor public
spaces
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due to
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the modern lifestyle that has
Correct article usage
a negiteve
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negiteve
Correct your spelling
negative
impact on a person's health
while
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in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the same time having
an indoor
Correct the article-noun agreement
an indoor space
indoor spaces
show examples
spaces
Use synonyms
will provide a place people can go to when the weather does not allow them to go outdoor.

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Task Achievement
Ensure to clearly outline your main points and thoroughly support them with reasons or examples. This will enhance the clarity and depth of your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay attention to grammar and spelling, as this can affect the overall professionalism of your writing. Proofreading your work can help eliminate errors.
Coherence and Cohesion
Structure your essay with clear topic sentences and transitions between ideas to improve the flow and coherence.
Task Response
You have presented a clear opinion on the topic, indicating your stance from the beginning, which is a good practice in argumentative essays.
Task Response
You have identified the importance of both outdoor and indoor spaces, showcasing a balanced view of the topic, which adds depth to your argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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