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Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart below shows the number of tourists in three nations who travel to Australia in 2005 and 2015. The graph below shows the number of tourists who use two types for holiday. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the number of tourists in three nations who travel to Australia in 2005 and 2015. The graph below shows the number of tourists who use two types for holiday. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart illustrates how many
tourists
Use synonyms
Australia
Use synonyms
 had from three different countries in 2005 and 2015, and the graph shows the number of
tourists
Use synonyms
 participating in two vacation modes from 2005 to 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, over the 10-year period,
Australia
Use synonyms
 became popular among
tourists
Use synonyms
 from the UK and the US,
while
Linking Words
 Japanese
traveler
Fix the agreement mistake
travelers
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 showed less interest in
Australia
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, the number of
tourists
Use synonyms
 choosing to stay at resorts experienced a decline,
whereas
Linking Words
 that of backpacking saw an increase. In detail, in 2005 the figures for UK and US
tourists
Use synonyms
 who travelled to
Australia
Use synonyms
initially
Linking Words
 stood at a lower point at 800,000 and 560,000, respectively.
However
Linking Words
, that of Japan peaked at 1,500,000.
In contrast
Linking Words
, by 2015
journeyer
Fix the agreement mistake
journeyers
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 from the UK and US had significantly surged to a peak of 1,500,000, with Japanese visitors dramatically decreasing to merely 1,000,000. In terms of types of holidays, in 2005, more
tourists
Use synonyms
 were inclined to opt for staying at a resort (approximately 1,700,000)
instead
Linking Words
 of backpacking. In 2010, the number of people choosing to stay at resorts continuously reached its highest point at roughly 2,450,000
,
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apply
show examples
 but surprisingly fell to 1,250,000 by 2015.
Conversely
Linking Words
, that of backpacking grew steadily and ended up reaching the same level as staying at a resort.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words tourists, australia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stay" was used 2 times.
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