IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think it is better to have many short holidays during the years. Others believe it would be beneficial to have fewer longer vacation. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

The modern world has a large variety of
anniversary
Fix the agreement mistake
anniversaries
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 which can be seen in all facets of life, providing some
lie down
Join the words
lie-down
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 time or even relief. It is the opinion of
this
Linking Words
 writer that numerous short vacations play a crucial part in
people
Use synonyms
's relaxation
due to
Linking Words
 avoiding laziness for
a long-term idle hours
Correct the article-noun agreement
a long-term idle hour
long-term idle hours
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 and ensuring memories about academic knowledge sustainably rather than those who suppose just needing less long vacations in a year being more advantageous for community. It must be understood that short-term
holidays
Use synonyms
 prevent
people
Use synonyms
 from laziness in the industry. It should be self-evident that with short breathe term,
people
Use synonyms
 will know that they will return to performance soon so they can not forget their daily tasks after the
holidays
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, they will tend to have fun with their family moderately on
holidays
Use synonyms
 and they usually check emails for production frequently to prepare to back to assignment.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is easy to understand why
people
Use synonyms
 should take some short breaks to motivate them to be productive.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, it is a belief that fewer long-term vacations are more useful than many short
holidays
Use synonyms
. One essential element for
this
Linking Words
 case is that
people
Use synonyms
 will just complete all of their work at one time and
then
Linking Words
 take stretch-out dates so they will not have any stress and deadlines during
holidays
Use synonyms
 and they can enjoy their free time comfortably. They are right to a certain extent, but they do not have any income per month because of non-working and they can not afford
for
Change preposition
apply
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their daily necessities after long days of
holidays
Use synonyms
. From the author's experience, I agree that keeping academic memories
such
Linking Words
 as knowledge and experiences is the main cause of the crowd who are interested in the short-term gala. To clarify
this
Linking Words
 point, think
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 tend to forget the ways of conducting tasks in their work without paying attention to them regularly. In
this
Linking Words
 case, after they return to task, they can not finish their assignments or projects as fast as before so the productivity will witness a decrease and the profit of the companies will be low. It must be noted that society should consider having long festivals, in order to give them many short-term
holidays
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 anniversaries always appear around us in society.
Therefore
Linking Words
, businesses should choose short-term celebrations to avoid laziness for a long stretch out moment and keep academic knowledge sustainably to continually serve for jobs after festivity.

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task achievement
Your essay does address the task but could be more focused in clearly outlining both viewpoints and your opinion. Make sure to provide a balanced discussion before stating your own view.
coherence and cohesion
The essay's coherence could be improved by using clearer topic sentences and ensuring each paragraph flows logically into the next. Some ideas feel disjointed.
task achievement
Consider using more specific examples or case studies to support your points; this will help to illustrate your ideas more effectively and could improve task achievement.
task achievement
The essay presents both views on short and long vacations, which is a good approach to addressing the task.
task achievement
There is an attempt to provide reasons for the preference of short holidays, showing some understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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