IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart gives information on the percentage of women going into higher education in five countries for the years 1980 and 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart gives information on the percentage of women going into higher education in five countries for the years 1980 and 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The par chart provides key information about
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
 of women that went to higher education in (
Correct your spelling
UK
show examples
Uk
Correct article usage
the Uk
show examples
,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
, Canada, Japan and
Germamy
Correct your spelling
Germany
) between the years 1970 and 2015. The units are measured in percentage
Overall
Linking Words
. it is clear from the graph that the
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 from Canada
were
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the highest
percentages
Fix the agreement mistake
percentage
show examples
 with 60 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
 , Germany was almost consistent during
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 years.
Whereas
Linking Words
, Japan
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 in 1970 and
also
Linking Words
 2015.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, the percentage of women in
Correct article usage
the Uk
show examples
Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
show examples
Use synonyms
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
significant
Change the adjective
significantly
show examples
 with nearly
30
Correct article usage
a 30
show examples
 per
cent
Use synonyms
different
Replace the word
difference
show examples
 between 1970 and 2015.
However
Linking Words
,
Canada
Change noun form
Canada's
show examples
 remand
consistent
Change the word
consistently
show examples
as
Correct your spelling
has
show examples
 the highest with 60
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 In terms of
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
,
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
Use synonyms
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
 slightly
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 around 20 per
cent
Use synonyms
, as Japan was the lowest in 1970 with 20 per
cent
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
 , in 2005 they
Use synonyms
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 nearly
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
double. Germany in 1970
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 the second highest with 50
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and
then
Linking Words
2005
Change preposition
in 2005
show examples
 they
Use synonyms
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 slightly to nearly 55 per
cent
Use synonyms

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words cent, increase with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: