The amount of time spend on sport and exercise should be increased in schools in order to tackle the problem of outweight children. Do you think this is the best way to deal with the problem? What other solutions can you suggest?

Many think that the
problem
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of child obesity can be addressed by increasing time for physical activity in
schools
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. Despite being an effective way to deal with the
problem
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, I do not think it is the best solution as
complex
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a complex
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approach can be more beneficial for tackling the issue. Other solutions
such
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as promoting healthy nutrition and healthy
habits
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would be a better choice. One of the ways in which the
problem
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can be solved is
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by rising
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rising
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raising
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time
spend
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spent
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on physical culture in
schools
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. Various types of
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sport
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sports
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will help children not only lose some weight but
also
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gain some
hobby
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hobbies
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and healthy
habits
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. At the same time, physical activity has a good impact on their health in general.
For instance
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, running for an hour each day
,
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apply
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can result in losing from 3 to 7 kilograms depending on
offspring's
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the offspring's
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organism, which justifies the efficiency of the reforms in
schools
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.
However
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, it is difficult to manage weight only by doing exercises and
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sport
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sports
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. Well-shaped approach is the best way to deal with the
problem
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.
Balanced
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A balanced
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diet and healthy
habits
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alongside
with
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apply
show examples
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sport
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sports
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can be very effective together. Avoiding fat consumption and having healthy
habits
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such
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as daily physical activity,
sleep
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and sleep
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regimen will help children in the process of weight loss.
In addition
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, supplements can
also
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boost efficiency.
For example
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, many dietitians in Norway support
well-rounded
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a well-rounded
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approach, which includes
nutritious
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a nutritious
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diet and
sport
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in order to tackle both children and adult obesity. To
conlude
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conclude
,
altough
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although
the issue of obesity among pupils can be solved by increasing hours for exercise and
sport
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in
schools
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, I think that the best way is to promote healthy
habits
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and reduce sugar intake
besides
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with
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apply
show examples
reforms in
schools
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.

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task achievement
The argument could be strengthened by providing more specific examples or statistics on childhood obesity, as well as additional solutions to tackle the issue.
coherence and cohesion
Consider varying the sentence structure in some places to improve the flow of ideas, and ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay presents a well-defined position and acknowledges the complexities of the issue of childhood obesity.
coherence and cohesion
There is a good use of examples to illustrate points about physical activity and its benefits.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
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