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Writing Samples
Band 3

It is predicted that with the development of technology, people in the 21st century will have much more free time. To what extent has the prediction come true? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction
Currently
Add a comma
Currently,
show examples
technology
Use synonyms
 is being spread and becoming
wildworldas
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a fact,
people
Use synonyms
 are consuming
technology
Use synonyms
 daily.
This
Linking Words
essat
Correct your spelling
essay
 will give some reasons,examples
as well as
Linking Words
 my
openion
Correct your spelling
opinion
.
Body paragraph 1
Technology
Use synonyms
 can be found in many aspects
such
Linking Words
 as public transport,
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
 and
every day
Replace the word
everyday
show examples
 mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
.
People
Use synonyms
 consume
technology
Use synonyms
 every day in their life leading to
time
Use synonyms
 spending without feeling it.
For example
Linking Words
, regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
a study
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
Correct article usage
a trent
show examples
trent university
Correct your spelling
Trent University
show examples
 in
nottingham
Change the capitalization
Nottingham
show examples
, 50% of
people
Use synonyms
consume
Verb problem
spend
show examples
 their
time
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
travilling
Correct your spelling
travelling
 using public
trasport
Correct your spelling
transport
 and 25% of the
people
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 their
time
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 work that
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
incloude
Correct your spelling
includes
technology
Use synonyms
 like
Add an article
a computer
show examples
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
vriety
Correct your spelling
variety
 of using advanced
technology
Use synonyms
 is causing individuals to have much more free
time
Use synonyms
comparimg
Correct your spelling
compared
 with those who do not
use
Use synonyms
technology
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 2
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand there are some
people
Use synonyms
 who do not
use
Use synonyms
technology
Use synonyms
have
Correct word choice
and have
show examples
 less
time
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
reasarchers
Correct your spelling
researchers
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 shown that
people
Use synonyms
 in the past used to walk to their
frends
Correct your spelling
friends
friend's
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
 to send them news which
takes
Wrong verb form
took
show examples
time
Use synonyms
.
Whereas
Linking Words
 now a days,
people
Use synonyms
 can
use
Use synonyms
 cars to move to
friends
Change noun form
friends'
friend's
show examples
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
 to have a chat
togatheor
Correct your spelling
together
 even send them
massages
Correct your spelling
messages
show examples
 using
phons
Correct your spelling
phones
show examples
 which can save
time
Use synonyms
 .
Conclusion
In
counclusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, the prediction of having a lot of
time
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
advancement
Correct article usage
the advancement
show examples
Use synonyms
technology
Change preposition
of technology
show examples
 is highly true.
Therefore
Linking Words
 using public
trasnport
Correct your spelling
transport
 can
effectivelly
Correct your spelling
effectively
 save
time
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction presents a clear thesis statement that reflects the main argument of your essay. Clarify your position on the topic and summarize the main points you will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your paragraphs by clearly linking each main point with appropriate transition words or phrases. This will help the reader to understand the connections between your ideas better.
coherence and cohesion
Use more varied and accurate vocabulary. Some words are misspelled (e.g., 'wildworld' should be 'worldwide'), and unclear phrases may confuse the reader. Try to replace simple words with more precise or sophisticated alternatives.
task achievement
You provide a relevant example from studies, which demonstrates an attempt to support your arguments with evidence.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion succinctly summarizes your main point, reinforcing your argument about technology affecting free time. The conclusion should tie back to the introduction for better coherence.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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