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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows percentage of people in a European country going to cinemas on different days. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows percentage of people in a European country going to cinemas on different days. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart illustrates the attendance
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the cinemas in a European country and it is sorted by each
day
Use synonyms
 of the
week
Use synonyms
 and it gives the information for 2003, 2005 and 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, we can appreciate that the weekend
days
Use synonyms
 are the preferred ones to go to the movies and
Use synonyms
week
Correct your spelling
weekdays
show examples
days
Use synonyms
 have a low
porcentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of assistance.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the difference between the
Use synonyms
week
Correct your spelling
weekdays
show examples
days
Use synonyms
 is almost
non
Correct your spelling
none
show examples
 in the presented years. To give an example, from
monday
Change the capitalization
Monday
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 to
thursday
Change the capitalization
Thursday
show examples
 there
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been little to no difference
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the number of attendees to the movies, and on Friday is the exact same number of thirty percent in all the years
showed
Wrong verb form
shown
show examples
. Even though, these numbers
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 that work is clearly related to free time activities, some people still
likes
Change the verb form
like
show examples
 to go to the cinema and
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 their time there.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Saturday is the preferred
day
Use synonyms
 to watch a to see a film. As we
now
Correct your spelling
know
show examples
, Saturday is the perfect
day
Use synonyms
 to spend
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
free time,
hence
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
have been
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 the
day
Use synonyms
 that most people
assist
Verb problem
go
show examples
 to the cinemas in
this
Linking Words
 country. By the same means, Sunday is a great
day
Use synonyms
 to go out and enjoy the arts, though there has been a small downgrade between 2005 and 2007, the number of people who go to the movies
this
Linking Words
day
Use synonyms
 is still larger than the
Use synonyms
week
Correct your spelling
weekdays
show examples
days
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words day, week, days with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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