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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below gives information about global sales of games software, CDs and DVD or video. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information.

The chart below gives information about global sales of games software, CDs and DVD or video. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information.
The chart illustrates to data
of
Change preposition
on
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 game types (
CDs
Use synonyms
,
Games
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software
Use synonyms
,
DVD
Use synonyms
/video ) of
saling
Correct your spelling
sales
record
Fix the agreement mistake
records
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 between 2000 and 2003.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Games
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software
Use synonyms
 kind of
games
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 rate and
DVD
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type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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 of
games
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 rate are increasing
straightly
Rephrase
steadily
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.
In
Linking Words
contrast
Add a comma
contrast,
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CDs
Use synonyms
 is number is decreasing slowly year by year.
CDs
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 have the biggest number of
saling
Correct your spelling
sales
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
Games
Use synonyms
software
Use synonyms
 is
the
Change preposition
in the
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 lowest position if
compare
Wrong verb form
comparing
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 all
chart
Fix the agreement mistake
charts
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 on the graph. video
games
Use synonyms
 are in the middle of the
Use synonyms
Games
Replace the word
game
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software
Use synonyms
 and
CDs
Use synonyms
. in 2001 and 2002 almost nothing
change
Wrong verb form
changed
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 all
thinghs
Correct your spelling
the things
 are
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 but
Use synonyms
CDs
Correct article usage
the CDs
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 bar
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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creasing slowly.
DVD
Use synonyms
 is started 20 to half of 20 and, both
Games
Use synonyms
software
Use synonyms
 and video growth between
these year
Change the determiner
this year
these years
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Finally
Linking Words
,
CDs
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
DVD
Fix the agreement mistake
DVDs
show examples
 are so close each, they are over 30 but
Games
Use synonyms
software
Use synonyms
 is almost half of them, it is under
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
20.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words cds, games, software, dvd with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slowly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • trends
  • global sales
  • media types
  • software
  • significant increase
  • decline
  • popularity
  • consumer preferences
  • technological advancements
  • peak sales
  • growth rates
  • fluctuations
  • digital technology
  • traditional media
  • digital downloads
  • streaming services
  • consumer habits
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