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Writing Samples
Band 7

The table illustrates the proportion of people aged 65 and over in Canada, Germany and the UK in 1988, 2000 and an estimation of 2030.

The table illustrates the proportion of people aged 65 and over in Canada, Germany and the UK in 1988, 2000 and an estimation of 2030.
The table illustrates the data about the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 who were higher than 65
years
Use synonyms
 old in three different countries-
Canada
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,
Germany
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 and the
UK
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- over the three
spearate
Correct your spelling
separate
years
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.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 there was an increasing trend across three countries, and the trend would
maintain
Verb problem
remain
show examples
 until 2030. Meanwhile,
Germany
Use synonyms
 had the greatest proportion of senior population,
while
Linking Words
 the
UK
Use synonyms
 was the lowest. Looking at the graph in more detail, in 1988, one out of five population in
Germany
Use synonyms
 was above 65
years
Use synonyms
 old, which was followed by
Canada
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, with 16.32%. In the same year, the
UK
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 only had 14.23% of
people
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 over
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
65
years
Use synonyms
 old. Over the 12-year period, the percentage of
Canada
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,
Germany
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 and the
UK
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 grew to 20.67%, 25.32% and 14.89% respectively.
In addition
Linking Words
, in 2030,
Germany
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 is expected to increase to 30.4%, which is still the highest number.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
people
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 aged 65 and over in
Canada
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 predicted to account for 26.35% of the population.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
UK
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 will have more older
people
Use synonyms
, around 20.35%

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, years, canada, germany, uk with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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