In some cultures, children are often told that they can achive anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this messages?

There is no denying the fact that in many cultures, kids are usually told that they

could

Wrong verb form

can

show examples

achieve anything they want if they try and

work

Use synonyms

very hard.

This

Linking Words

essay will analyze the advantages and the disadvantages of giving

children

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

message. There are many

advantage

Change to a plural noun

advantages

show examples

that

children

Use synonyms

may have when the message " you can achieve anything if you try and

work

Use synonyms

hard" is said to them

This

Linking Words

may include that the

child

Use synonyms

will try to do

all

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

his or her best in making or doing something.

In addition

Linking Words

to that, a

child

Use synonyms

will be more ambitious and he or she will never say "I can not do it and it is impossible".

In addition

Linking Words

thet

Correct your spelling

that

, it

give

Change the verb form

gives

show examples

the

child

Use synonyms

Correct article usage

the

show examples

passion and energy to gain what he or she wants.

For example

Linking Words

, a 5-years-old boy

want

Change the verb form

wants

show examples

to participate in

mathematics

Add an article

a mathematics

show examples

competition,

and

Correct word choice

but

show examples

he is not so good at math, when his

parents

Use synonyms

say to him"

you

Capitalize word

You

show examples

can do it , just you have to

work

Use synonyms

hard" , he will trust his

parents

Use synonyms

and always try to do all his best to win the math competition.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, saying that to

children

Use synonyms

may have a negative impact on them,

specially

Replace the word

especially

show examples

if they try hard and

did

Wrong verb form

show examples

not achieve what they want, so they may get disappointed.

For example

Linking Words

, if the same

child

Use synonyms

work

Correct subject-verb agreement

works

show examples

and

study

Replace the word

studies

show examples

math very hard, but in

the

Correct article usage

show examples

competition

Add a comma

competition,

show examples

did

Wrong verb form

does

show examples

not do very well and

did

Wrong verb form

does

show examples

not win, he will feel disappointed

from

Change preposition

show examples

his

parents

Use synonyms

, and he might think that they are lying

Change preposition

show examples

him.

As a result

Linking Words

, he might not trust his

parents

Use synonyms

in the future . In conclusion, saying to

children

Use synonyms

that they can achieve anything by working and trying so hard, have positive and negative effects on them.

These effect

Change the determiner

This effect

These effects

show examples

may lead to huge problems or

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

great results.

Hoor AlshaikhSun May 18 2025

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Task Achievement

Your introduction is clear, but you could make the thesis statement more explicit by stating the main points you will cover in the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

Make sure to use proper punctuation and correct spelling consistently. For instance, 'advantage' should be 'advantages' and 'thet' should be 'that.'

Coherence and Cohesion

In your conclusion, summarize the key points made in your essay more clearly and consider offering a personal opinion or recommendation to enhance the overall impact.

Task Achievement

You have chosen a relevant topic and presented both sides of the argument, which is essential for a balanced essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

309 words

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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achive anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this messages?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people think that children should only read academic books. Others believe that reading books for pleasure is equally important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that spending the national budget on soace exploration is a waste of resources. They insist that those funds should be spent on people living on earth. Do you agree or disagree?

Should education and healthcare be free of charge and funded by the government, or should it be the responsibility of the people to pay for these services?

Some people believe that children should study all subjects at school, while others think they should only study subjects they are good at or find interesting. Discuss both views and give your opinion.