IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is pointless making children who lack artistic talent learn painting and drawing in Art classes at school. Instead, they should concentrate on other creative or practical subjects for which they may have more aptitude. To what extent to do you agree or disagree?

There is an opinion that
Art
Use synonyms
 classes should not be held for school children who do not possess any skill in drawing, allowing them to spend more time on lessons that require another kind of creativity.
This
Linking Words
 essay agrees with the statement at some points, though the opinions
differentiate
Replace the word
differ
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at
Change preposition
from
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other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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ones
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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. I believe that there are certain situations when it would be better to redirect the creativity of a certain
child
Use synonyms
 into other fields,
while
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 sometimes it is better to let a
kid
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 continue to work at their
Art
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 lessons. It is not uncommon for children to get frustrated when they face difficulties and failures. When a
kid
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 struggles with something, it is quite likely that
this
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kid
Use synonyms
 will want to abandon the work, and it
also
Linking Words
 affects the
child
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’s mood and self-esteem.
For instance
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, when a
kid
Use synonyms
 gets a low grade on
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
Art
Use synonyms
 lesson
due to
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 lack of artistic talent and,
consequently
Linking Words
, a bad drawing, the
kid
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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ought to get sad about it, and if
this
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 scenario happens constantly, the
kid
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 might lose the will to keep going to school and think worse about oneself. In that case, it would be significantly better to allow the unfortunate artist to turn one’s attention to other creative disciplines to avoid the detrimental effect on the mental state of a
child
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.
On the contrary
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, many children are able to enjoy the artistic process and
ability
Correct article usage
the ability
show examples
 to express their creativity on paper even if they don’t have artistic talent. Public opinion usually holds lesser significance for kids, so criticism of their artworks may not have any destructive value for a
child
Use synonyms
 or one’s mentality, and when a
kid
Use synonyms
 likes to draw and paint, the
Art
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 lesson
also
Linking Words
 becomes a fun and enjoyable activity. To exemplify, if the schoolchild takes pleasure in creating anything with one’s two hands, it is likely that the aforementioned
child
Use synonyms
 will be happy to spend time doing exactly that, even when the result is not quite plausible, exactly because the
child
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 enjoys the process. In that scenario, preventing a talentless
kid
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 from attending
Art
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 classes may do more harm than good.
To conclude
Linking Words
, it is safe to say that both approaches, namely, redirecting the
child
Use synonyms
’s attention, or letting a
child
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to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
keep attending
Art
Use synonyms
 classes, may be equally useful, and the preferable one should be determined based on the individual
child
Use synonyms
’s will and interest.

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task achievement
Consider providing a clearer thesis statement that clearly outlines your stance on the issue at the end of the introduction. This will help to guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to connect all parts of your paragraphs back to the main argument or thesis to maintain a clear focus throughout. For example, explicitly linking ideas in your conclusion to your earlier points will strengthen your overall structure.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to illustrate your points more vividly. For instance, when discussing the detrimental effects on a child's mental state, perhaps mention a specific scenario or case that highlights this effect.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction effectively presents the topic and acknowledges varying opinions on the subject, demonstrating an understanding of the complexity of the issue.
task achievement
The use of contrasting views in the body paragraphs showcases a well-rounded understanding of the topic, adding depth to your discussion.
coherence and cohesion
Overall, your essay is structured logically, with clear paragraph divisions and relevant content.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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