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Writing Samples
Band 6

There is a trend of increasing amounts of consumer goods, which leads to environmental problems. What are the reasons for this trend? Give your own opinion and solutions.

The trend of increasing amounts of consumer
goods
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 is often said to lead to environmental problems.
This
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 essay will discuss
factors
Correct article usage
the factors
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 causing
this
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 trend and
then
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 will suggest some solutions to deal with these problems. There are several reasons for the increase in consumer
goods
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.
Firstly
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, the way
goods
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 are made and sold contributes to their proliferation. With technological development, many manufacturers
use
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 materials like plastic for packaging because it can reduce their costs and potentially increase profits.
This
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 type of packaging, often designed for single
use
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, contributes to the volume of
goods
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 and, when discarded, is harmful to the environment, causing pollution.
Secondly
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, a culture of frequent consumption, sometimes encouraged by advertising, means people buy more items than perhaps they truly need, leading to a greater turnover of
goods
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. To address the environmental problems linked to
this
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 trend, several measures can be taken.
Firstly
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, the government could implement stricter regulations.
For example
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, laws could be published to rule material
using
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use
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, perhaps requiring factories to
use
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 more recyclable materials or to reduce packaging.
Secondly
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, the government should improve public awareness about environmental protection.
For instance
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, people can be encouraged to
use
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 recyclable materials and to reduce
overall
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 consumption, and more public facilities,
such
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 as rubbish bins and recycling
centers
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centres
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, could be added in tourist destinations and public spaces to manage waste better. In conclusion, the increase in consumer
goods
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 is driven by production methods and consumption habits, leading to environmental issues.
However
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, through government regulation and increased public awareness, steps can be taken to reduce the negative impact.

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task achievement
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and summarise the essay well, but try to make your thesis statement stronger by more clearly stating your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
You have good logical structure with separate paragraphs, but ensure each paragraph stays focused on one main idea to enhance clarity.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your points, as this will strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-organized into clear paragraphs, which helps with overall clarity and understanding.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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