IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the consumption of fish and some different kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The chart analyst is the four different types of me
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
taken by
non vegetarian
Add a hyphen
non-vegetarian
show examples
 people in a European Nation between the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 1979 and 2004. In general, the numbers given for
chicken
Use synonyms
, beef and lamb, fluctuated frequently in the given
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time period and on
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand the proportion of the
fisher
Replace the word
fish
show examples
 recorded in
data
Correct article usage
the data
show examples
, was almost the same
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
among
Change preposition
apply
show examples
from
starting
Replace the word
start
show examples
 to end. In
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
1979, the highest value was collected for the week as consumption of a flash, which was slightly more than 2
grams
Use synonyms
 per person in a week.
Moreover
Linking Words
, only around
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
50
grams
Use synonyms
 of fish was eaten by an individual in 7 days, which was constant for
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 25 years. The
chicken
Use synonyms
 and lamp were almost taken equally but in the conjunction altered in a positive
directions
Correct the article-noun agreement
direction
show examples
 for both. The
chicken
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
eaten by
non
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
vegetarian
Fix the agreement mistake
vegetarians
show examples
 was 250
grams
Use synonyms
 in a week and
in contrast
Linking Words
 to that
lamps
Change the noun form
lamp
show examples
 consumption decreased by almost 100
grams
Use synonyms
. For beef, Dua quantity was 200
grams
Use synonyms
 in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
1979 and year 125 in 2004.
Overall
Linking Words
, the conjunction of official remained constant for the given time period and in
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2004,
Use synonyms
chicken
Add an article
the chicken
show examples
 was taken
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
largely
in contrast
Linking Words
 to other flash food.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words chicken, grams with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption trends
  • steady increase
  • most consumed meat
  • relatively stable
  • general decline
  • pronounced decline
  • over the years
  • throughout the period
  • depicts
  • span
What to do next:
Look at other essays: