IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science as a subject. What are the causes? And what will be the effects on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

While
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 some countries have enough
students
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 choose
science
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 as a
subject
Use synonyms
 to
study
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, many countries do not have enough
students
Use synonyms
 studying
sciene
Correct your spelling
science
. The ability
of understanding
Replace the preposition
to understand
show examples
science
Use synonyms
, and the popularity of
this
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subject
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 among
students
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, are the main factors that made
students
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 select other subjects. A decline in the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
show examples
 within
society
Use synonyms
 is the main effect on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
.
This
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 essay will discuss
Correct article usage
the causess
show examples
causess
Correct your spelling
causes
 that lead
students
Use synonyms
 not to choose
science
Use synonyms
 as a
subject
Use synonyms
 to
study
Use synonyms
, and the effects on
society
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
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,
although
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science
Use synonyms
 is a crucial
subject
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 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students
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, not all of them have the ability to understand it.
This
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 is because
science
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 is a complex
subject
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 which requires
students
Use synonyms
 to have a high IQ so that they may understand
this
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subject
Use synonyms
,
therefore
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 a large number of them avoid choosing
this
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subject
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due to
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 the inability to understand it.
Additionally
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,
while
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 some
students
Use synonyms
 have a high IQ, which means they can understand
science
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 comfortably
however
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, they tend to avoid it, because
among
Add the comma(s)
, among
show examples
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the students
show examples
students
Fix the agreement mistake
student
show examples
communtiy
Correct your spelling
community
, it is not the perfect
subject
Use synonyms
 for them, because they consider it a boring
subject
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, which leads them to select other subjects. To illustrate, a recent
study
Use synonyms
 shows
83
Correct word choice
that 83
show examples
% of
students
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 consider
science
Use synonyms
 boring.
Secondly
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,
as a result
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 of not having enough
students
Use synonyms
study
Use synonyms
science
Use synonyms
, several effects
occuar
Correct your spelling
occur
 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Use synonyms
. The main consequence is not having enough
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
show examples
 within
society
Use synonyms
, which will lead to
society
Use synonyms
to lag
Change the verb form
lagging
show examples
 behind in several fields relying on
science
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such
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biology
Change preposition
as biology
show examples
, and
chemstriy
Correct your spelling
chemistry
.
For example
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, a recent
study
Use synonyms
 conducted in Saudi Arabia shows that the number of scientists declined by 33%
as a result
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 of not having enough people studying
science
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, because of the perspective that
science
Use synonyms
 is a boring
subject
Use synonyms
, and not all of the
students
Use synonyms
 possess the ability to
study
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science
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, the numbers of
scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
scientists
show examples
 have declined.5

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coherence and cohesion
Work on ensuring clarity and detail in your introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Make sure to elaborate more on your main points to give deeper insights.
coherence and cohesion
Double-check spelling and grammar as they can disrupt flow.
task achievement
The essay identifies clear causes and effects, providing a focused response to the task.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math)
  • Perception of difficulty
  • Early exposure
  • Engaging experiences
  • Career opportunities
  • Practical applications
  • Financial constraints
  • Cultural norms
  • Critical fields
  • Innovation
  • Economic development
  • Global competitiveness
  • Public health
  • Environmental issues
  • Scientific progress
  • Educational standards
  • Biodiversity loss
  • Healthcare services
  • Medical research
  • Job prospects
  • Research and technology
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