IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Completing University education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and soft skill is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

It is thought that pursuing a university education is the most effective method to acquire a great occupation.
While
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 other individuals think that having experience and soft
skills
Use synonyms
 is crucial to getting a good
job
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. From my perspective, the best way is to complete a
bachelor
Use synonyms
's
degree
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 in order to get an excellent
job
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 and guarantee a professional career.
This
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 essay will discuss both points of view and express my opinion. On the one hand, in
this
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 era, pursuing
to get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
any
degree
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 significantly changes your life even after retirement.
In other words
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, completing university opens plenty of opportunities to get a promotion in your
job
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.
Moreover
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, several
jobs
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 require a
bachelor
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's
degree
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 to be hired in
this
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 position and even to increase your salary and
that is
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 why many people are completing a
degree
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.
For example
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, in my country, to be employed in any
job
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, you must have a
bachelor
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's
degree
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 at least
due to
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 some
jobs
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 require knowledge before hiring ,
such
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 as medical and engineering
jobs
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.
On the other hand
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, other people think having a lot of experience and knowing some
skills
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 is more vital to having a good
job
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. It is
also
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 possible to say that some
jobs
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 do not care about completing a university education or even high school
due to
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 their work depending on how much knowledge and experience you have.
In addition
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,
demonstrating
Wrong verb form
demonstrates
show examples
 that
skills
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 and experiences can outweigh academic degrees in some fields.
For instance
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, the management sector relies on soft
skills
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 like, critical thinking, problem-solving and analysis
skills
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. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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 question. On balance,
however
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, I tend to believe that completing a
bachelor
Use synonyms
's
degree
Use synonyms
 or master's is more important to ensure hiring by international companies.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure a more balanced discussion of both sides by allocating roughly equal paragraphs to each perspective.
task achievement
Try to use more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance the quality of your writing and express your ideas more clearly.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly sets up the topic and your opinion, which is helpful for the reader.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples that support your points, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • foundation
  • specialized skills
  • job market
  • minimum requirement
  • professional positions
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • analytical skills
  • job security
  • opportunities for advancement
  • networking opportunities
  • industry professionals
  • mentors
  • practical experience
  • soft skills
  • communication
  • teamwork
  • adaptability
  • real-world experience
  • competitive
  • entrepreneurs
  • academic credentials
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