IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway line for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

It is
conscidered
Correct your spelling
considered
 by some
people
Use synonyms
 that
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
 amount of
money
Use synonyms
 should be spent on building new railway
rotes
Correct your spelling
routes
 for subway or metro trains in different countries.
However
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
instead
Linking Words
 of spending
money
Use synonyms
 on introducing new railway lines government should improve the infrastructure of current ones. I believe that authorities should improve the condition of existing public transport. On the one hand, there are
people
Use synonyms
 who insist on constructing new railway routes for fast trains as they are fast and convenient. Building flexible routes will not only ease the commuters but
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will be
also
Linking Words
 beneficial to reduce the traffic on roads. To cite an example Japan is an appropriate example of
reliable
Correct article usage
a reliable
show examples
tranportation
Correct your spelling
transportation
 system.
Along with
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other countries
such
Linking Words
Canada
Change preposition
as Canada
show examples
, and America
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
are also
show examples
 a perfect example. To demonstrate it
further
Linking Words
, in Canada there are subways that
runs
Change the verb form
run
show examples
 underground in
this
Linking Words
 way they do not bother other automobiles on
roads
Correct article usage
the roads
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , some
people
Use synonyms
 believe rather than investing large
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of
money
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 constructing new routes government should improve the existing public transport so that
people
Use synonyms
 will
more
Add a missing verb
be more
show examples
 likely to commute in buses and trains
instead
Linking Words
 of using their own private modes of transportation.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should look after the required maintenance of public transport so that
people
Use synonyms
 do not have to face
challanges
Correct your spelling
challenges
such
Linking Words
 as waiting longer hours or getting late
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
. In
conclusdion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, I believe that
Correct article usage
the goverment
show examples
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 should spend the grants wisely. If the infrastructure of current public transportation can be improved
then
Linking Words
 there is no need to disburse large
sum
Fix the agreement mistake
sums
show examples
 of
money
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
 sector
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
 these grants can be used in other sectors too.

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Task Achievement
Work on ensuring that your central argument is clear and comprehensively supported throughout the essay. Make sure each point is elaborate enough to showcase your reasoning.
Coherence Cohesion
Improve the logical flow between your paragraphs. Ensure that the transition between ideas is smooth and clearly connects back to your main argument.
General Improvement
Pay attention to grammar, particularly subject-verb agreement and plural forms, to enhance the overall clarity of your writing.
Task Achievement
You have a clear stance on the topic, which is important for the reader's understanding.
Task Achievement
The essay contains relevant examples that support your arguments, which add credibility to your perspective.
Coherence Cohesion
Your attempt to address both views in the discussion is commendable, showcasing a balanced approach to the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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