IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? Give reasons…experience.

One of the widely
discussing
Wrong verb form
discussed
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theme
Change to a plural noun
themes
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 nowadays is
place
Add an article
a place
the place
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 of
work
Use synonyms
 for office employees . Now
people
Use synonyms
 realize that computers and modems have made it possible for office workers to do much
work
Use synonyms
 of their
work
Use synonyms
 from home
instead
Linking Words
 of working in offices every day! Personally, I tend to think that percentage of your productive
work
Use synonyms
 depends on what
king
Correct your spelling
kind
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 of
work
Use synonyms
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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you have
?
Change the punctuation
.
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What kind of atmosphere
you need
Add an auxiliary verb
do you need
did you need
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 to be more productive ? etc.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
its
Correct your spelling
it is
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 well
know
Wrong verb form
known
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 that
people
Use synonyms
 are forming three large
group
Change to a plural noun
groups
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 of workers in case of preference for their productive mode.
However
Linking Words
, we will talk about only two types . First is distancing or home employees.What I mean they gain energy ,
idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
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 and productive
work
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 from being in their their place . Where they are by themself doing their plans do schedule without any contact with
Use synonyms
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
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people
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 . One of the main
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 behind
this
Linking Words
 is
people
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 don't into
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
chatting with
others
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 cause it can bring
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them stress ,
anxiety
Correct word choice
and anxiety
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 to have conversations . They may think is wasting time and energy
this
Linking Words
 will
have affected
Wrong verb form
affect
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 their
work
Use synonyms
 .
Good
Add an article
A good
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 case in point is
people
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 with
Add an article
an introvert
the introvert
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introvert
Correct word choice
introverted
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type
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 of personality
whom
Change the pronoun
who
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 don't prefer
have
Fix the infinitive
to have
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 conversations with
others
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 , they
more loving
Wrong verb form
love
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 their own space with
slidly
Correct your spelling
solidly
 low pressure and emotional .
In
Change preposition
On
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other
Correct article usage
the other
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 hand ,
in
Change preposition
on
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this
Linking Words
 planet
exists
Correct subject-verb agreement
exist
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people
Use synonyms
 opposite to
first
Change the article
the first
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type
Use synonyms
 of personality, we call them extroverts ,
people
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 who gain energy from communication with
others
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 . They are
Correct article usage
the butterfly
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butterfly
Fix the agreement mistake
butterflies
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 of the group .
This
Linking Words
type
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 of
people
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 good at group
project
Fix the agreement mistake
projects
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, or
co-
Correct your spelling
co-work
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work
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 situations.
The one
Correct article usage
One
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 clear example is
Chief
Correct article usage
the Chief
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at
Change preposition
of
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restaurant
Add an article
a restaurant
the restaurant
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 , who contacting with his sue- chief
in creating
Change preposition
to create
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 the dish .Without pair
Use synonyms
work
Add a comma
work,
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 he will be discharged . After mentioning everything my conclusion
is chose
Change the verb form
is to choose
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that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
type
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
place
Correct your spelling
workplace
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 and
work
Use synonyms
 which can afford comfortable
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
 for
rising
Correct your spelling
raising
show examples
 the productivity of their employees.

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task achievement
Consider providing a clearer thesis statement in your introduction to outline the main points you will discuss in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Improve your paragraphing to ensure that each main idea is separated into its own paragraph, making it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to illustrate your points. For instance, you mention introverts and extroverts but could briefly explain how their preferences directly impact their productivity at home versus in an office.
coherence and cohesion
Revise some sentences for grammatical accuracy and clarity, as there are a few grammatical errors that may confuse readers.
task achievement
You have presented an interesting perspective by discussing both introverts and extroverts in relation to productivity.
task achievement
Your use of examples to support your argument is a solid approach, especially in illustrating different types of workers.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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