IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. What are the reasons for this movement? Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city.

In
this
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essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 we will discuss why a
lot
Use synonyms
 of people move to
cities
Use synonyms
 and what are the difficulties they face. Living in
cities
Use synonyms
 is
such
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 an incredible experience.
However
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, a
lot
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 of people move to
cities
Use synonyms
 because of the job opportunities that exist in the
cities
Use synonyms
, but once they arrive they find out that a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
challenging
Replace the word
challenges
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are
Change the verb form
is
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 about to start
in addition
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,
rent
Fix the infinitive
to rent
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 prices, the
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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 and many
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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. And if you're thinking
to move
Change preposition
of moving
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 to a big city
such
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 as Riyadh or London that's going to cost you a
lot
Use synonyms
.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
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 the
prices
Add a comma
prices,
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 the most essential part is how are you going to adapt
in
Change preposition
to
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this
Linking Words
 new life and routine. The psychological side is important as
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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as the physical aspect. Because if you
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
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 adapt you will never succeed and live in
this
Linking Words
 city

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Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction effectively presents the topic but could be more engaging. Try to include a thesis statement that clearly outlines what the essay will cover. Additionally, consider providing a concluding statement summarizing your points.
Task Achievement
While you touched on some difficulties faced by city dwellers, incorporating more specific examples and elaborating on the points would improve clarity. Each point should be backed by further explanation or examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve grammatical structure and punctuation in your sentences for better readability. For example, 'a lot of challenging are about to start' could be revised to 'many challenges are about to arise.'
Task Achievement
You identified key reasons for migration to cities, such as job opportunities, which is a relevant and important point.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear intention, addressing both the reasons for migration and the challenges faced by city dwellers, which is a good approach.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Migrating
  • Urbanization
  • Employment prospects
  • Quality of life
  • Infrastructure
  • Healthcare facilities
  • Cultural diversity
  • Socioeconomic status
  • Cost of living
  • Commute
  • Housing market
  • Social amenities
  • Standard of living
  • Overcrowding
  • Public services
What to do next:
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