Some people believe that time spent on televiosion, video and computer games can be beneficial to children. Others believe this has a negative effects on a child. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Few individuals believe that spending time on television,video and computer
games
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is helpful for offspring.
However
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, the rest of the others are not in favour of supporting
this
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trend.
Therefore
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,ahead of my opinion, both views will be discussed
further
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.
Examine
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Examining
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the former opinion, the primary argument the supporter would put forward is exposure.In
this
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modern era, everything happens online whether it is related to personal or professional life.With the help of
such
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gadgets like television and computer
games
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, they become able to have a good command
on
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of
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other electronic things.
For instance
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,
children
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learn to drive at the age of 16 in the USA
due to
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advanced technology.Compared to the past, they hardly start driving in their mid-twenties.
Furthermore
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,online
games
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are quite famous these days. The brain starts working efficiently in
such
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a situation.
Hence
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, it helped a lot in their brain development which ultimately
improve
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improved
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their thinking power and
make
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made
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them independent.
For instance
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,Pubz is the most famous game among youngsters.In these
games
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, individuals consider themselves in the situations inside the game.
Therefore
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, they will learn to overcome
such
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circumstance
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circumstances
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.
On the contrary
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,those in favour of the latter option have their own arguments.
To begin
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with, they claim that
children
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will suffer from various health-related problems, especially obesity.
Moreover
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,more screen time will lead to less physical movement and weaken eye vision.To cite an example, There was a survey done by the UK government in 2010 to obtain information about reasons behind the obesity among
children
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.Data has shown the number of
children
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with
this
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issue
are
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is
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increasing by 5% every year
due to
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the constant influence of electronics.
In addition
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to
this
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, scholars will become addicted to
such
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habits in case of doing constantly in their free hours.
As a result
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, they will lack in their academics.
To conclude
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and offer my position, there are convincing arguments both for and against television, video and computer game usage in free time.
However
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,I certainly favour the latter opinion, because the body and mind deteriorate if they are not utilised within a certain limit.

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coherence and cohesion
Your essay presents both sides of the argument and provides some examples; however, it could benefit from clearer organization and smoother transitions between points.
task achievement
While you offer some valid examples, ensuring that they are relevant and fully explained would strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You have a clear understanding of the topic and present both views with supporting arguments, which shows effort in addressing the task.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • hand-eye coordination
  • technological proficiency
  • media consumption
  • violence and aggression
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • social interaction
  • virtual worlds
  • educational games
  • screen addiction
  • parental control
  • content curation
  • physical activity
  • time management
  • consumer habits
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