IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try hard and improve such situations* *Discuss both views and give your opinion*

Tragic incidents do take place in
life
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. Some people opine that it is always better to accept unfavourable
circumstances
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while
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 others think that
sincere
Correct article usage
the sincere
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 efforts of an individual can prove fruitful and bring a favourable change. In
this
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 essay, I will present both
the
Correct article usage
apply
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views, favouring hard work can lead to positive change in the
life
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 of a person, by giving valid reasons, explanations and examples.
To begin
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 with, passing through a bad phase
such
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 as
shortage
Correct article usage
a shortage
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 of money or an unsatisfactory
job
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 is a part of
life
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. It depends upon an individual how it is being taken by him.
For example
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, one of my
cousin
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cousins
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 after obtaining a degree in mechanical engineering, failed to secure a
job
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 in his field forcing him to accept a
job
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of
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as
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 a mechanic in a garage.
Instead
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 of losing faith and confidence in himself, he utilised
this
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 time to gain experience. By adopting an accepting attitude, people can uphold a positive attitude towards
life
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. In fact, bad conditions make people
more
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apply
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stronger.
On the other hand
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, hard work can be helpful in changing
circumstances
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 for
better
Correct article usage
the better
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. It develops
a
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apply
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positive stress, which motivates an individual to seek out solutions for the problems. It develops the
problem solving
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problem-solving
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 ability of a person.
For example
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, If a person is appointed
on
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to
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 a lower position, though he is highly qualified, he can through his sincere efforts please the management and acquire a promotion in his
job
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. In conclusion, making sincere efforts to improve one's
circumstances
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 is more beneficial in the long run than
to lead
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leading
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 a stressful
life
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 and accepting the
circumstances
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 as they are without putting in hard work.

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task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Use connecting words to make your sentences flow smoothly, like 'firstly,' 'however,' and 'in addition.'
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and try to focus on one aspect at a time.
task achievement
You present both sides of the argument well.
task achievement
Your conclusion summarizes your opinion clearly.
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