IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that time spent on television and computer games can valuable for children. Other believe this has negative impact on a child. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There is no denying the fact that television and video games have
a positive and negative things
Correct the article-noun agreement
positive and negative things
a positive and negative thing
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
 It is a commonly held belief that people
let
Wrong verb form
letting
show examples
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 children
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
 of time on it will increase
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 skills, there is
also
Linking Words
 an argument that children are wasting their time with it.
this
Linking Words
 essay will analyse
this
Linking Words
 topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand,
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
 can be so helpful
of
Correct your spelling
if
show examples
 the kid know how to use it.
In other words
Linking Words
, nowadays, businesses are
giveing alot
Correct your spelling
giving a lot
 of attention
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the players that are pros in the game so they can take it to be professional and go to join clubs.
in addition
Linking Words
, games develop many soft skills and
solive
Correct your spelling
solve
 problems.
for example
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,
jordan
Change the capitalization
Jordan
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who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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just
win
Wrong verb form
won
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
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one
milion
Correct your spelling
million
mile
 from playing fortnight in 5 five years
this
Linking Words
 is how parents know what to teach their kids.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, if people do not know how to use the internet or any other technology they will be addicted to it. It is possible to say that social media wants to let their users
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
be on the platform as long as possible to get your attention with
this
Linking Words
 process kids will waste their time and not get what they want from it.
Moreover
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, it
is maybe
Verb problem
may
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 damage the kid with what
inside
Add a missing verb
is inside
show examples
 it.
For instance
Linking Words
, porn is the most
researech
Correct your spelling
researched
 on
google
Capitalize word
Google
show examples
 in 2020 and most of the age percentage was the young generation. in conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
Linking Words
 question. On balance,
however
Linking Words
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 tend to believe that kids need to use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology so they can improve and be with wave in the
futhure
Correct your spelling
future
 that will make them trust
themselfs
Correct your spelling
themselves
show examples
 but parents need to keep an eye on them so
you
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 know what they are doing .

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly separate your ideas into clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on one main point.
task achievement
Use simple and clear examples that relate directly to your points. Avoid confusing or unclear statements.
grammar and language
Review grammar and spelling carefully. There are some mistakes that make it hard to understand your point.
task achievement
Your topic is relevant and you express your opinion clearly.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion structure.
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