Some people claim that what people eat in many Western countries is unhealthy and that their diet is getting worse. Critics say that these countries should change their diet. What are your opinions on this?

There is no doubt ,

Linking Words

due

Correct word choice

that due

show examples

to the excessive work pressure on

people

Use synonyms

they do not maintain healthy

diet

Use synonyms

plan

Fix the agreement mistake

plans

show examples

However

Linking Words

, it is believed

Change preposition

apply

show examples

some

people

Use synonyms

that individuals living in foreign countries

such

Linking Words

as America

ana

Correct your spelling

and

show examples

Canada, eat

alots

Correct your spelling

a lot

of junk

food

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

tendenacy

Correct your spelling

tendency

of having

Change preposition

to have

show examples

junk

food

Use synonyms

is making their

diet

Use synonyms

Change the word

apply

show examples

worse day by day. I believe that

people

Use synonyms

should maintain nutritious

diet

Use synonyms

plan

Fix the agreement mistake

plans

show examples

so that they can live healthy

lifestyle

Fix the agreement mistake

lifestyles

show examples

. To commence with, in

this

Linking Words

moden

Correct your spelling

modern

era

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

people

Use synonyms

are working around the clock and

due to

Linking Words

their hectic schedule they do not

enough

Add a missing verb

have enough

show examples

time

Use synonyms

to prepare their meals.

As a result

Linking Words

, they prefer to eat outside which indirectly imbalance their healthy

diet

Use synonyms

. Moving

further

Linking Words

, in Western

countries

Add a comma

countries,

show examples

people

Use synonyms

are living in nuclear families,

they

Correct word choice

and they

show examples

have hardly

Correct determiner usage

any

show examples

free

time

Use synonyms

on weekends , in

this

Linking Words

way

Add a comma

way,

show examples

they have to do all the things by themselves even

Correct word choice

if it

show examples

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

, doing household chores , raising children or doing groceries.

Along with

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, dwellers in foreign countries always prioritize their families and they love to spend their leisure

time

Use synonyms

with their loved ones and at that

time

Use synonyms

they do not like to eat

home made

Correct your spelling

homemade

show examples

food

Use synonyms

. Moving

further

Linking Words

, I believe that

Health

Use synonyms

is wealth.

Instead

Linking Words

of working long hours

people

Use synonyms

should take

nutritious

Correct article usage

a nutritious

show examples

diet

Use synonyms

plan so that they do not have to face

health

Use synonyms

issues.

In addition

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, there are plethora of

protein rich

Add a hyphen

protein-rich

show examples

food

Use synonyms

availabe

Correct your spelling

available

in the market that does not take

Correct your spelling

too

show examples

much

time

Use synonyms

to cook.

In addition

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, folks can

also

Linking Words

hire a

nutrionist

Correct your spelling

nutritionist

and

accquire

Correct your spelling

acquire

diet

Use synonyms

chart so that it is easy to follow those meal plans.

Beside

Replace the word

Besides

show examples

this

Linking Words

, there are so many apps that show the perfect amount of nutrition, protein, calories , fat and carbs

consisted

Verb problem

consumed

show examples

in meals. Implementing these things will not only help to follow

healthy

Add an article

a healthy

show examples

diet

Use synonyms

but

also

Linking Words

helpt

Correct your spelling

help

show examples

to keep them fit and active. In conclusion,

people

Use synonyms

are becoming

workaholic

Fix the agreement mistake

workaholics

show examples

due to

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

they are not paying attention towards their

health

Use synonyms

which will result

into

Change preposition

show examples

serious

health

Use synonyms

issues at the later stage of their lives. I personally

considered

Verb problem

believe

show examples

that

people

Use synonyms

should maintain a balance between healthy and unhealthy diets so that they can keep themselves more stronger and energetic.

sukhs5999Wed May 21 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Provide clearer topics and ideas in each paragraph.

coherence and cohesion

Use more linking words and phrases to connect ideas.

task achievement

Use specific examples to support your points more clearly.

task achievement

Make sure your spelling and grammar are correct to help with clarity.

task achievement

You have a clear opinion about the diet issue.

task achievement

You mention important factors affecting people’s diets.

coherence and cohesion

Your introduction sets the stage for your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

376 words

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Some people claim that what people eat in many Western countries is unhealthy and that their diet is getting worse. Critics say that these countries should change their diet. What are your opinions on this?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but other people claim that it is the individual’s responsibility. Discuss both the views and give your opinion?

Violence on television has a negative impact on children’s behaviour. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that it is an individual responsibility to take care of an environment but others think it is the government's job to do so. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion.

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

A longer prison term as a way of punishing those who break the law is not as good as other methods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?