The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Child obesity is a challenging dilemma in the modern world, especially in Western society, where the proportion of obese

children

Use synonyms

has grown by almost 20% in the

last

Linking Words

decade.

This

Linking Words

essay will elaborate on several main culprits of

this

Linking Words

issue and propose some outcomes of

this

Linking Words

problem. There are various factors leading to the rise in the number of obese

children

Use synonyms

. First of all, the diet of

children

Use synonyms

is mostly ignored by their parents.

This

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

ignorance about the essential nutrients that are needed for the growth of

children

Use synonyms

and the harmful effects of unhealthy foods on their kids.

Therefore

Linking Words

, unhealthy meals,

such

Linking Words

as ready-made meals, which are a quick and easy option for many parents, are usually fed to

children

Use synonyms

, leading to detrimental substances entering the body. Another reason for the large number of obese

children

Use synonyms

is the numerous advertisements.

For instance

Linking Words

, there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

a great

quantity

Change the quantifier

number

show examples

colorful

Change the spelling

colourful

show examples

advertisements about fast food brands like Pizza Hut or McDonald's appearing on every device, attracting

children

Use synonyms

to eat fast food. The effects of

this

Linking Words

have been and will continue to be very serious.

Firstly

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

with obesity tend to have more health issues than normal

children

Use synonyms

, especially cancer.

In addition

Linking Words

, cancer is a dangerous health problem, which may require the

children

Use synonyms

stay

Fix the infinitive

to stay

show examples

in the hospital for an extended period. Not only that, overweight

children

Use synonyms

often experience bullying from other kids because of the difference in body size.

For example

Linking Words

according to

Linking Words

a survey in 2022, among 100 students in a high school, more than 30% of them have discriminated against obese people.

This

Linking Words

can damage obese

children

Use synonyms

's mental health and make them feel unconfident whenever they go out. In conclusion, it is evident that there are several causes of

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

obesity among

children

Use synonyms

and a variety of negative effects. Society must propose methods to address

this

Linking Words

issue.

khoianh2404Fri May 17 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your essay provides a comprehensive response to the prompt, addressing both causes and effects. However, consider providing more varied and specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, you could discuss specific studies or data points related to childhood obesity.

coherence cohesion

While your essay is generally well-organized and coherent, adding more transitional phrases could improve the flow of your arguments. For example, phrases like 'in addition,' 'furthermore,' and 'on the other hand' can make your points clearer and more connected.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are strong and effectively frame the essay. They set the stage well for your discussion and summarize your key points succinctly.

task achievement

You clearly outline the causes and effects of childhood obesity, showing a good understanding of the issue. This makes your essay informative and relevant to the topic.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

310 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

overweight
obesity
caloric intake
sedentary lifestyle
screen time
physical education
nutritious
psychological well-being
self-esteem
socioeconomic
healthcare system
life expectancy
obesity-related complications

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
Some people argue that it is the responsibility of the police to educate children about good behavior, whereas others believe that parents should be responsible for children. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In our contemporary era, it is acknowledged by some people that moral ethics need to be educated by the police, whereas others argue that families should take care of the behavioural education of their children. In my opinion, child development starts at the early stage in families and parents should be responsible for teaching what is good or bad, in addition, educational institutions should collaborate with them during the middle and high school stages.
4
band
Students should payfull cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extend do you agree or disagree ?
It is argued that the learners ought to spend their money on studying in the futher education because it just profits for themselves not entirely the society. From this writer perspective, i totally disagree with this statement.
6.5
band
In some countries, the number of shootings increase becausee many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There are countries around the world where we have seen an increased number of shootings than before, and many think that the primary reason behind this is that many people these days keep weapons like guns and pistols at home; however, I disagree with this statement because there are other reasons for this scenario as well which I shall discuss in my essay.
7.5
band
You are moving to a new country ,write a letter to the accommodation agency to rent a house In your letter describe Yourself and your family Which area you would like to live in And what facilities you need in the house.
I am writing this letter to request you to find a suitable rental house for me and my family.
4.5
band
Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this case
Nowadays many youngsters tends to spend their valuable time on their smartphones, it is because the development of digitalization very fast and affecting every part of their life. There are many reasons behind this situation and I find this development more beneficial than the negative sides, in the following paragraph I will examine my point of view and will give detailed information.

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Some people argue that it is the responsibility of the police to educate children about good behavior, whereas others believe that parents should be responsible for children. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Students should payfull cost for their own study, because university education benefits individuals rather than society. To what extend do you agree or disagree ?

In some countries, the number of shootings increase becausee many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

You are moving to a new country ,write a letter to the accommodation agency to rent a house In your letter describe Yourself and your family Which area you would like to live in And what facilities you need in the house.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this case