The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

#percentage #children #society #ten #years #effects #trend

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Child obesity is a challenging dilemma in the modern world, especially in Western society, where the proportion of obese

children

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has grown by almost 20% in the

last

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decade.

This

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essay will elaborate on several main culprits of

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issue and propose some outcomes of

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problem. There are various factors leading to the rise in the number of obese

children

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. First of all, the diet of

children

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is mostly ignored by their parents.

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due to

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the

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apply

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ignorance about the essential nutrients that are needed for the growth of

children

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and the harmful effects of unhealthy foods on their kids.

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, unhealthy meals,

such

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as ready-made meals, which are a quick and easy option for many parents, are usually fed to

children

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, leading to detrimental substances entering the body. Another reason for the large number of obese

children

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is the numerous advertisements.

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, there

are

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a great

quantity

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number

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colorful

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colourful

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advertisements about fast food brands like Pizza Hut or McDonald's appearing on every device, attracting

children

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to eat fast food. The effects of

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have been and will continue to be very serious.

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children

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with obesity tend to have more health issues than normal

children

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, especially cancer.

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, cancer is a dangerous health problem, which may require the

children

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stay

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to stay

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in the hospital for an extended period. Not only that, overweight

children

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often experience bullying from other kids because of the difference in body size.

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according to

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a survey in 2022, among 100 students in a high school, more than 30% of them have discriminated against obese people.

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can damage obese

children

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's mental health and make them feel unconfident whenever they go out. In conclusion, it is evident that there are several causes of

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this

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apply

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obesity among

children

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and a variety of negative effects. Society must propose methods to address

this

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issue.

Submitted by khoianh2404 on Fri May 17 2024

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task achievement

Your essay provides a comprehensive response to the prompt, addressing both causes and effects. However, consider providing more varied and specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, you could discuss specific studies or data points related to childhood obesity.

coherence cohesion

While your essay is generally well-organized and coherent, adding more transitional phrases could improve the flow of your arguments. For example, phrases like 'in addition,' 'furthermore,' and 'on the other hand' can make your points clearer and more connected.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are strong and effectively frame the essay. They set the stage well for your discussion and summarize your key points succinctly.

task achievement

You clearly outline the causes and effects of childhood obesity, showing a good understanding of the issue. This makes your essay informative and relevant to the topic.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

310 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

overweight
obesity
caloric intake
sedentary lifestyle
screen time
physical education
nutritious
psychological well-being
self-esteem
socioeconomic
healthcare system
life expectancy
obesity-related complications

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The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

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