The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend. Write at least 250 words.

Child obesity is a challenging dilemma in the modern world, especially in Western society, where the proportion of obese
children
has grown by almost 20% in the
last
decade.
This
essay will elaborate on several main culprits of
this
issue and propose some outcomes of
this
problem. There are various factors leading to the rise in the number of obese
children
. First of all, the diet of
children
is mostly ignored by their parents.
This
is
due to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ignorance about the essential nutrients that are needed for the growth of
children
and the harmful effects of unhealthy foods on their kids.
Therefore
, unhealthy meals,
such
as ready-made meals, which are a quick and easy option for many parents, are usually fed to
children
, leading to detrimental substances entering the body. Another reason for the large number of obese
children
is the numerous advertisements.
For instance
, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
a great
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of
colorful
Change the spelling
colourful
show examples
advertisements about fast food brands like Pizza Hut or McDonald's appearing on every device, attracting
children
to eat fast food. The effects of
this
have been and will continue to be very serious.
Firstly
,
children
with obesity tend to have more health issues than normal
children
, especially cancer.
In addition
, cancer is a dangerous health problem, which may require the
children
stay
Fix the infinitive
to stay
show examples
in the hospital for an extended period. Not only that, overweight
children
often experience bullying from other kids because of the difference in body size.
For example
,
according to
a survey in 2022, among 100 students in a high school, more than 30% of them have discriminated against obese people.
This
can damage obese
children
's mental health and make them feel unconfident whenever they go out. In conclusion, it is evident that there are several causes of
this
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
obesity among
children
and a variety of negative effects. Society must propose methods to address
this
issue.
Submitted by khoianh2404 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay provides a comprehensive response to the prompt, addressing both causes and effects. However, consider providing more varied and specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, you could discuss specific studies or data points related to childhood obesity.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is generally well-organized and coherent, adding more transitional phrases could improve the flow of your arguments. For example, phrases like 'in addition,' 'furthermore,' and 'on the other hand' can make your points clearer and more connected.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are strong and effectively frame the essay. They set the stage well for your discussion and summarize your key points succinctly.
task achievement
You clearly outline the causes and effects of childhood obesity, showing a good understanding of the issue. This makes your essay informative and relevant to the topic.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • overweight
  • obesity
  • caloric intake
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • screen time
  • physical education
  • nutritious
  • psychological well-being
  • self-esteem
  • socioeconomic
  • healthcare system
  • life expectancy
  • obesity-related complications
What to do next:
Look at other essays: