Extreme sports such as skydiving and rock climbing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view.

In the 21st century, dangerous and
life threatening
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life-threatening
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sports
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such
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as skydiving and rock
climibing
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climbing
are becoming
immensly
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immensely
popular. To minimize the risks
associate
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associated
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with these
sports
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the public
believe
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believes
show examples
that the best course of action is to ban
such
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sports
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. I acknowledge that extreme
sports
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can cause serious injuries or even death.
However
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, I disagree that they should be banned.
Firstly
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,
such
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sports
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are offered in professional institutes
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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recruites
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recruit
experts in the field and they
also
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provide protective equipment and gear to ensure safety.
Additionally
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,
individuals
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are often informed about the potential risks and dangers associated with skydiving and rock
climibing
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climbing
.
Thus
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, those who choose to participate in these types of activities are making informed decisions. Each
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individuals
Change to a singular noun
individual
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should be able to make their own choice and by banning these
life threatening
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life-threatening
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sports
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,
individuals
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lose
a
Correct article usage
the
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right to make
choice
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choices
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.
Secondly
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, several studies
suggests
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suggest
show examples
that by engaging in extreme
sports
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individuals
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are able to produce a hormone called dopamine.
This
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hormone helps in reducing cortisol levels, which
further
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reduces stress and burnout.
Therefore
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, banning skydiving and rock
climibing
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climbing
could lead to
negative
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a negative
the negative
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impact on
individuals
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who use these
sports
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as a medium to
relief
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relieve
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stress and burnout. In conclusion, I agree that extreme
sports
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poses
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pose
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inherent dangers to an individual's
lives
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life
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;
however
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, it
also
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helps in reducing stress by
decresing
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decreasing
cortisol levels.
Moreover
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,
individuals
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opting for
such
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sports
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are often aware
about
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of
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the potential dangers and they still decide to participate.
Thus
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, by banning
such
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sports
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these
individuals
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may lose their right to choose.

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Language
Make sure to use the correct spelling of words, such as 'climbing' instead of 'climbibing'.
Content
Add more specific examples to support your points about stress relief and safety.
Cohesion
Try to use linking words to connect your ideas better, like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'in addition'.
Content
The essay presents a clear opinion that is well-supported throughout the text.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • exhilarating
  • personal growth
  • sense of achievement
  • self-esteem
  • mental resilience
  • economic implications
  • adventure tourism
  • acknowledging
  • paramount
  • mitigate
  • recreational activities
  • governmental regulations
  • personal liberties
  • pioneering
  • advancements
  • protective gear
  • innovation
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