IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The tabular diagram and list is the sources of money in one reason of retained and pie chart depics the distribution of money for various purposes.

The table diagram shows the sources of
money
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 one reason
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Britain and
pie
Correct article usage
the pie
show examples
 chart
depics
Correct your spelling
depicts
depict
 the distribution of
money
Use synonyms
 for various purposes.
Overall
Linking Words
, the total
budget
Use synonyms
 of police in 2017 was 304.7m and the total funds in
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
year
Use synonyms
 were 6
million
Use synonyms
. The major source of earning
money
Use synonyms
 was
national
Correct article usage
the national
show examples
 government for given years. In 2017, 5
million
Use synonyms
 of total funds
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 from the
nation
Replace the word
national
show examples
 government and only around
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
2
million
Use synonyms
 was released in 2018.
moreover
Linking Words
, local taxes provided around 91
million
Use synonyms
 in 1st
year
Use synonyms
 and in 2018, local taxes
over increase
Change preposition
increased
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
and came up with 102
million
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 contribution
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
Linking Words
overall
Add an article
the overall
show examples
budget
Use synonyms
. The least amount of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
currency was more from other sources like
grant
Fix the agreement mistake
grants
show examples
 so that was nearly 38
million
Use synonyms
 in both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the expenditure was
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
distinguished in three different means. Almost
threefourths
Correct your spelling
three-fourths
three fourths
 of the
budget
Use synonyms
 was used in providing salaries to the officers and the staff in
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
year
Use synonyms
. The decline of around 6% was
evidence
Wrong verb form
evidenced
show examples
, in salaries in
Use synonyms
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2018 infrastructure and transportation 17% of the phones each
year
Use synonyms
. A sudden escalation was seen from 8% to 14%, the
money
Use synonyms
 used for technology in 2017 and 2018.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the resources of
police
Correct article usage
the police
show examples
 in Britain increased after I
earn
Wrong verb form
earned
show examples
 a suitable distribution of currency
indicated
Wrong verb form
indicating
show examples
effective
Correct article usage
an effective
show examples
budget
Use synonyms
 controlled by
police
Add an article
the police
a police
show examples
 force.

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introduction
Provide a clearer introduction that outlines the main points. For example, summarize the main findings of the table and pie chart before diving into details.
coherence
Improve the logical flow between ideas to enhance clarity. Use linking words to show how one point connects to another.
task achievement
Be more precise with figures and clear in expressing changes. For example, clarify what 'the least amount of a currency was more from other sources' means.
conclusion
Add a stronger conclusion that clearly summarizes the overall findings without introducing new information. Avoid personal opinions like 'I earn a suitable distribution.'
data reference
The essay provides some relevant data from the table and pie chart, indicating good use of information.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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