IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some believe secondary school students should learn international news as a part of school subject while others think, its a waste of time.Discuss both views ans give your opinion.

It is argued by Some people that schools should
tech
Correct your spelling
teach
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 overseas
news
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 as a subject as it is beneficial to gain
knowledge
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 about the countries and they will get familiar with international trends
such
Linking Words
 as economic ,political and environmental .
While
Linking Words
,
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apply
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 Some people opine that learning overseas
news
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 will
be impact
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impact
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 the
main stream
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mainstream
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 subjects and they will take more interest in international affairs as compared to
other own country
Change the wording
another own country
other own countries
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. In my opinion, the drawbacks of learning international
news
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 outweigh the benefits as students will shift their interest from their main subjects. Supporters of including Worldwide
news
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 as a subject in secondary school think that these can provide benefits to children to get deep
knowledge
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 of international affairs
such
Linking Words
 as economic, political and environmental conditions of other countries.
News
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 of other countries improves the general
knowledge
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 and IQ level of students which helps them to outshine in group of people having extra
knowledge
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. Adding to
main
Correct article usage
the main
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 subjects they will learn about the sports events or other international competitions
such
Linking Words
 as
Olympic
Correct article usage
the Olympic
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 games, commonwealth games and specific leagues.
This
Linking Words
 kind of
news
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 will encourage them to take
a
Correct article usage
apply
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part in those events. These benefits will give ample amount of
knowledge
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 of outside country affairs to the students. Critics opine that there will be impactful drawbacks of having
third world
Add a hyphen
third-world
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 country
news
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 in academics .

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences to guide your paragraphs.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your ideas.
task achievement
You have presented both sides of the argument well.
task achievement
Your points about international news improving general knowledge are strong.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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