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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that it is more common way to learn history by watching movies instead of reading books. Does the advantages of this ought weight the disadvantages?

History
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 has a significant importance for every nation as it connects
people
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 with their
tradition
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traditions
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 and culture.
However
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, learning and memorising these traditions is very hard for
people
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due to
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apply
show examples
which
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apply
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some
people
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 believe
,
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that, best
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best
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the best
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 way to stay connected with their roots is to watch
movies
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 related to ancient
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time
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times
show examples
whereas
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 others think reading books can be helpful. In my opinion, merits for learning
history
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 by watching
movies
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 is more beneficial.
To begin
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 with, there are numerous advantages of watching films to learn the
history
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 of any country. First and foremost,
movies
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 give
visual
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the visual
a visual
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 experience of all the wars or the traditions that were followed by ancient
people
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 in the old times. That can be interesting for individuals to watch in theatres as in today's
time
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, a lot of animations and visuals are used to create films.
For instance
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, a famous
movie
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 named
as
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apply
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"Chaar Sahibzade", is created on the basis of struggles done by Sikh Gurus to make their religion independent. A lot of animations are used in
this
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movie
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,
that
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which
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make
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makes
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 even children
to
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apply
show examples
watch it with full concentration.
Hence
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,
people
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 from all walks of life, enjoy watching
history
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 in
this
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 way.
Secondly
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, by watching
movie
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 clips on ancient
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time
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times
show examples
,
people
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 can learn more about that period in
leass
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less
time
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 as one
movie
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 has a duration of only two hours. So, in
this
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 short
time
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 period, they can learn a lot of things about their background.
Moreover
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, by watching all
traditional
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the traditional
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 practices that were done by their
old
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older
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 generation, they can easily keep that in
their
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apply
show examples
mind or whenever they need to do
that rituals
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that ritual
those rituals
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 they can simply watch that
movie
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 to learn how to do that ritual. For
examplify
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example
, Punjabi culture has many rituals during
weding
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weddings
 but it is very hard for them to remember
evrything
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everything
 all
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time
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the time
show examples
.
However
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, with the films, it is very easy for them to perform their traditional practices during marriage.
As a result
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, visual clips are a good source for
people
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 to stay connected with their roots. To recaliberate, to get knowledge regarding ancient
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time
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times
show examples
 including lifestyle, wars and rituals, using
movies
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 is a better option as
compare
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compared
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 to choosing books as
it
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they
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 only contain brief
explanation
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explanations
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 of all things which is only useful to get detailed information regarding specific
topic
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topics
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.

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Add a clear conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use more linking words to make your essay flow better, like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally'.
task achievement
You provided a relevant example of a movie that supports your argument.
task achievement
Your points are interesting and show a good understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • engagement
  • relatable
  • accessibility
  • inclusive
  • vivid visuals
  • dramatic storytelling
  • visual and emotional experience
  • historical accuracy
  • potential misconceptions
  • biased view
  • simplification
  • complex historical events
  • limited runtime
  • incomplete understanding
  • historical nuances
  • superficial overview
  • varying perspectives
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