IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that the best way to solve the problem of air pollution in cities is to increase the cost of vehicle fuel. Others think that different measures should be taken. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some people argue that the better solution to solve
air
Use synonyms
 contamination in urban areas is to increase the fuel charges.
However
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, others have an opinion to consider different alternatives to control
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
. Both views have different pros and cons, and in
this
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 essay, I will highlight both views and I will give my perspective which regards to
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
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, there are multiple reasons for
air
Use synonyms
pollution
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 ; one of the reasons is CO2 emitted by vehicles. In recent times, purchase power or the per capita income of the society has significantly increased in most developing countries, and
thus
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 people are opting for their comfort and convenience, rather than looking at the expenses of their vehicles or the maintenance charges.
Furthermore
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, increasing the fuel cost would not differ much in public life; until and unless there is a significant increase in the fare.
On the other hand
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, to have better control of rising issues of
air
Use synonyms
pollution
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 is to build a very good infrastructure.
Also
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, building a better transportation facility within the urban cities
such
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 as trains, metros, shuttle services etc. would have a positive impact on public life.
Additionally
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, promoting electric vehicles which do not omit CO2, and subsidising these products to the public on purchase would
also
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 help cities and countries to have better control over
air
Use synonyms
pollution
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.
For instance
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, in Goa, the government is promoting electric two-wheelers rather than self-driven petrol or diesel cars. In my perspective, education, awareness, and information to the public play a crucial role in controlling
air
Use synonyms
 contamination.
Additionally
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, the government
also
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 have to work on building better infrastructure for the public, and at the same time rewarding the public to use these facilities. Without building the infrastructure, we would find it difficult to reduce the ongoing concern of
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph clearly states its main idea and supports it with examples.
task achievement
Add more details to explain your points thoroughly.
coherence and cohesion
Improve your grammar and sentence structure for better clarity.
task achievement
You have introduced the topic well and showed both sides of the argument.
task achievement
You provided a relevant example of Goa's initiative with electric vehicles, which supports your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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