IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that it is more common way to learn history by watching movies instead of reading books. Does the advantages of this ought weight the disadvantages?

There are many ways to learn
history
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. Some
people
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 think
movies
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 adapted from
history
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pieque
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pique
 their
interests
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interest
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 in probing the real story behind
it
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them
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. Some
people
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 think historical
books
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provides
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provide
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 a more accurate perspective of learning
history
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. In my own opinion, I think we'd better learn
history
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 from
books
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 rather than from
movies
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. Here are my reasons: First and foremost, historical
movies
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 may prioritize entertainment over historical accuracy, leading to potential misconceptions or a biased view of events. Some
people
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 may argue,
as
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that as
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historical
Add an article
the historical
a historical
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 movie is adapted from real
history
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, it tells the truth to some extent.
But
Correct word choice
However
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this
Linking Words
 argument does not validate the reason for learning
history
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 from
movies
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. Young children may naively think what they see in
movies
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 happened in the past
,
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apply
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 if the adults do not provide appropriate guidance. The plot in the
movies
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 may be deliberately twisted to
creat
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create
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 a comical effect. If it strictly
recreate
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recreates
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 the real
history
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, the movie will bore the audience to death.
Second,
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movies
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 often simplify complex historical events and contexts to fit within a limited runtime, which can result in an incomplete understanding. Compared with the simple plot and the black-and-white narrative as presented in the movie, real
history
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 is more complicated than
people
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 imagined. Fitting an event of hundreds of years into
history
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 may simply prove impossible. Scriptwriters often leave out the details to keep the story short.
Third,
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unlike
books
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, which can delve deeply into historical nuances,
movies
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 typically offer a more superficial overview, potentially leaving out important details and varying perspectives. Most
movies
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 often feature one or two main characters and tell the story from the main
characters'
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character's
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 perspective. It lacks the depth of historical
books
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 as detailed by peer-reviewed research and historical
books
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. In conclusion, I think learning
history
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 from
books
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 is better than from
movies
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,
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apply
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 because book approaches
history
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 from more perspectives. It offers
intersting
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interesting
 insights and delves into historical nuances that cannot be fitted into
movies
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.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to connect your ideas better with linking words and phrases. This will help your essay flow more smoothly and make it easier to follow.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples from history. This will strengthen your points and show your understanding.
task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly states both sides of the argument, which can help the reader understand your opinion better.
task achievement
You clearly stated your opinion at the beginning of the essay, which is excellent.
coherence and cohesion
Your points were logical and followed a clear structure, which helps the reader understand your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • engagement
  • relatable
  • accessibility
  • inclusive
  • vivid visuals
  • dramatic storytelling
  • visual and emotional experience
  • historical accuracy
  • potential misconceptions
  • biased view
  • simplification
  • complex historical events
  • limited runtime
  • incomplete understanding
  • historical nuances
  • superficial overview
  • varying perspectives
What to do next:
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