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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph
illustrate
Change the verb form
illustrates
show examples
 the
habbit
Correct your spelling
habit
 of
people
Use synonyms
 to enjoy
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea in five cities (Sydney,
Melbourne
Use synonyms
, Brisbane,
Adelaide
Use synonyms
, and Hobart). The different
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
show examples
 of
ejoys
Correct your spelling
enjoys
are buy
Change the verb form
are bought
are buying
show examples
 a fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
,
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 an
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 and
go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
 to the
cafe
Use synonyms
. All the data show
people
Use synonyms
`s activities in the
last
Linking Words
 4
weeks
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, from the categories,
people
Use synonyms
 who spent time
to go
Change the verb form
going
show examples
 to the
cafe
Use synonyms
 in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4
weeks
Use synonyms
 to enjoy
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea is the highest number, rather than buy a fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 or
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
. In
sydney
Change the capitalization
Sydney
show examples
,
people
Use synonyms
 who buy
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 about 45%
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the total
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
population, which is the highest
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
than
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 cities. Followed by
Melbourne
Use synonyms
 and Hobart which are approximately 6% below Sydney. After that,
Adelaide
Use synonyms
 and Brisbane are getting
number
Correct article usage
a number
show examples
approximately
Change preposition
of approximately
show examples
 35% in the
last
Linking Words
 4
weeks
Use synonyms
.
Melbourne
Use synonyms
 is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 city where
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
people`s
Change noun form
people
show examples
habbits
Correct your spelling
habits
are
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 going to the
cafe
Use synonyms
 to drink
cofee
Correct your spelling
coffee
 or tea in
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 4
weeks
Use synonyms
, the diagram showed that 64%
Use synonyms
Melbourne
Change preposition
of Melbourne
show examples
 citizens go to the
cafe
Use synonyms
. In
Adelaide
Use synonyms
, most of the society more enjoy
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 at home
than
Rephrase
rather than
show examples
go
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
 to the
cafe
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, only in
Adelaide
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
people
Add a missing verb
do people
show examples
 choose
making
Change the verb form
to make
show examples
instant
Use synonyms
coffee
Use synonyms
 with
Correct article usage
a diifference
show examples
diifference
Correct your spelling
difference
about
Change preposition
of about
show examples
 2% between fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, coffee, melbourne, adelaide, instant, cafe, weeks with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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