Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? DO you think this is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, more

hours

Use synonyms

are spent by children on their smartphones.

This

Linking Words

is increasing because they have limited friends and

this

Linking Words

is a negative progress.

Firstly

Linking Words

less

Correct quantifier usage

fewer

show examples

and

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

youngsters prefer to play outdoor games.

This

Linking Words

is because of the excessive homework and pressure from school. They spend

hours

Use synonyms

Change preposition

apply

show examples

completing work and

this

Linking Words

gives them very

less

Correct word choice

little

show examples

time even to engage in playing.

For example

Linking Words

, the Tribune survey 2024 shows that the schools allocate 3 to 4

hours

Use synonyms

of homework to

8th class

Add a hyphen

8th-class

show examples

students.

Therefore

Linking Words

, they resort

for

Change preposition

show examples

indoor or online games for relaxing.

Also

Linking Words

, with the increasing crime rates,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

parents are scared to send their young ones out and prefer them at home.

Thus

Linking Words

, the more sedentary

life style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

is evident.

While

Linking Words

discussing the drawbacks, the most common being health issues.

This

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

the sedentary lifestyle causing obesity and depression among youngsters. These

further

Linking Words

lead to coronary diseases, especially seen in

20s

Change the article

the 20s

show examples

For instance

Linking Words

, the NICE guideline 2025 mentions that

the

Correct article usage

show examples

40% increase

Change preposition

show examples

myocardial infarction

Wrong verb form

has been

show examples

seen in the age group 21 to 30 in the

last

Linking Words

5 years.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, eye strain and power spectacles are

also

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

side effects. There is

also

Linking Words

impact

Correct article usage

an impact

show examples

on their behaviour and they become anti-social, schizophrenic and start having panic attacks

along with

Linking Words

mood swings.

Finally

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

morbidity and mortality in the recent generation

Change the verb form

are

show examples

increasing more rapidly. In conclusion, these phones are

being

Verb problem

becoming

show examples

more popular as younger’s have

limed

Verb problem

limited

show examples

friends,

less

Correct quantifier usage

fewer

show examples

free

hours

Use synonyms

low

Correct word choice

and low

show examples

security causing less physical

activities

Fix the agreement mistake

activity

show examples

. Several drawbacks seen include mental and physical ailments which hampers the quality of life.

mkb_155Fri May 23 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Try to provide a clearer introduction that outlines your main points. This helps readers understand what to expect in your essay.

coherence and cohesion

Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea, and try to link sentences more smoothly to improve flow.

task achievement

Your conclusion should summarize your main arguments more clearly and restate your opinion to reinforce your position.

task achievement

Use more specific examples from reliable sources to support your points and make them more convincing.

task achievement

You have identified clear reasons why children use smartphones and have pointed out health issues as negative effects, which is a strong point.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? DO you think this is a positive or negative development?

Your opinion

The media should stop reporting details of crimes to the public because it only has negative influences on them. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough what are the advantages and disadvantages of giving the children this message?

In the today’s world, many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

Computers and AI technology ae increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?