IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own idea.

Many
people
Use synonyms
 claim that advertising is
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
very effective for
to convince
Change the verb form
convincing
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to purchase products.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 a few
people
Use synonyms
 disagree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion and say the opposite
advertisements
Use synonyms
 are way too common that
people
Use synonyms
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
 not give enough
attention
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, I agree with both of these claims equally. Primarily, the main goal of
advertisements
Use synonyms
 is to attract
attention
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the goods that they aim to trade.
For example
Linking Words
, an advertisement for a brand new object with
latest-generation
Correct article usage
the latest-generation
show examples
 equipment will attract
attention
Use synonyms
 and will convince
people
Use synonyms
 to upgrade their existing object.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they
also
Linking Words
 convince individuals to purchase an item that
people
Use synonyms
 weren’t aware of before in order to try them out,
such
Linking Words
Change preposition
as a
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 air cleaner which succeeds with its objective.
However
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 see it as that
advertisements
Use synonyms
 are way too common that the necessary
attention
Use synonyms
 is not paid enough.
As
Change preposition
For
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
instance,
a
Change the article
an
show examples
indivial
Correct your spelling
individual
 who has viewed an advertisement frequently
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
already
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 enough knowledge of its content
will
Correct word choice
and will
show examples
 most likely ignore the commercial on their next encounter.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a vast portion of
advertisements
Use synonyms
 are targeted
for
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a specific audience. To analyze
further
Linking Words
, a commercial for a
childrens
Change to a genitive case
children's
show examples
 toy will not draw the
attention
Use synonyms
 of quite adults. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
although
Linking Words
advertisements
Use synonyms
 can be a
highly-effective
Correct your spelling
highly effective
show examples
 way
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
promoting purchaseable goods, it is
worthy
Replace the word
worth
show examples
to note
Change the verb form
noting
show examples
 that they can be deemed
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
ineffective if
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
gets
Correct subject-verb agreement
get
show examples
 to togettrive and
aims
Correct subject-verb agreement
aim
show examples
 for a specific community. I tend to agree and support both of those ideas equally.

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion on the topic. You can also include a brief summary of both sides.
coherence cohesion
Use more linking words (like 'firstly', 'also', 'however') to connect your points more clearly and improve flow.
task achievement
Try to give more specific examples or details to support your points, as this will strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You present both sides of the argument, which is good for discussion essays.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear conclusion that summarizes your thoughts.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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