IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that modern architecture has made cities more attractive in the last century. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays projects concerning urbanization and revitalization are sweeping through small and large
cities
Use synonyms
 alike at a rapid pace. Stemming from
that is
Linking Words
 the belief some people hold that new, contemporary
architecture
Use synonyms
 has made
cities
Use synonyms
 more appealing during the
last
Linking Words
 hundred years. Personally,
while
Linking Words
 I do agree that
remodeling
Change the spelling
remodelling
show examples
 has done some places justice, I am of the opinion that modern
architecture
Use synonyms
 is often tacky and ruins
cities
Use synonyms
’ ambience. On the one hand, older
buildings
Use synonyms
 may often be rundown or even dilapidated
due to
Linking Words
 wear and tear
of
Change preposition
over
show examples
 the years. Caved roofs, rotten windows or rickety steps are not appealing to the eye, nor are those
buildings
Use synonyms
 safe to work or live in. It is difficult and expensive to maintain old
architecture
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 very specific materials and building methods used during their construction.
Such
Linking Words
buildings
Use synonyms
 may make people feel haunted and anxious, especially if they are surrounded by newer, shinier ones
and
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 stick out like sore thumbs. That leads to demolition and
remodeling
Change the spelling
remodelling
show examples
 processes.
Such
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 measures
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 taken to apartment
buildings
Use synonyms
 from Khruschev’s time, and in that
case
Add a comma
case,
show examples
 modern
architecture
Use synonyms
does enhance
Wrong verb form
enhanced
show examples
cities
Use synonyms
’ attractiveness.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, governments of big, metropolitan
cities
Use synonyms
 sometimes bring down older
buildings
Use synonyms
 that are in good condition to build shopping malls and skyscrapers. Because of that, historical
neighborhoods
Change the spelling
neighbourhoods
show examples
 lose their character and the atmosphere that many people enjoy.
As a result
Linking Words
 of
such
Linking Words
 continuous renovation
cities
Use synonyms
 start lacking uniformity and begin to look and feel like unsettling juxtapositions of different eras. Some central districts in Moscow, where historical
architecture
Use synonyms
 is mixed with modern glass-and-stone offices, can serve as an example of
such
Linking Words
 mindless changes. In conclusion, it holds true that modern
architecture
Use synonyms
 can make
cities
Use synonyms
 more attractive, but only when it
compliments
Correct your spelling
complements
show examples
 its surroundings, not combats them. 293 words

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task response
Your introduction is clear and sets the stage for your argument. However, ensure you state your opinion more definitively in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
Your paragraphs are well-organized, but adding more linking phrases can improve the flow between ideas.
task response
Make sure to give more specific examples that clearly illustrate your points, as this strengthens your argument.
task response
You provided a clear opinion on the topic, which is a strong point in your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reinforces your opinion about modern architecture.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • modern architecture
  • aesthetics
  • eco-friendly designs
  • sustainable materials
  • visual appeal
  • iconic landmarks
  • community interaction
  • urban planning
  • cultural heritage
  • urban vibrancy
  • functional design
  • skyscrapers
  • public spaces
  • historical buildings
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